my best life 07.10.17.1204P

last moments when he finally laid still and motionless as
if someone had grabbed his soul and a lifetime of pain and
anger remained carved in his face.
His cause of death was gastrointestinal bleeding from
years of alcohol abuse.
He died on January 6, 2011. He was 83.
When I learned about my biological father’s suicide and
my biological mother’s unsuccessful attempt at suicide, it
took me back to the night of the storm in Ohio.
I first thought about the spiritual experience I had after I
dropped the knife. My thoughts, at the time, were that my
adoptive mother, Dolores, was with me in spirit after
dying the year before.
But then, I began to wonder if the presence I felt may have
been my biological father, James. Had he regretted taking
his own life and was somehow reaching out to stop me
from taking mine?
I may never know the answer to that question.
But, I do know this….
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