The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F_ck

For people who were dissatisfied with their lives, these
suggestive explanations, combined with the sensationalizing
media—there were veritable epidemics of sexual abuse and
satanic violence going on, and you could be a victim too—
gave people’s unconscious minds the incentive to fudge
their memories a bit and explain their current suffering in a
way that allowed them to be victims and avoid
responsibility. Repressed memory therapy then acted as a
means to pull these unconscious desires out and put them
into a seemingly tangible form of a memory.
This process, and the state of mind it resulted in, became
so common that a name was introduced for it: false memory
syndrome. It changed the way courtrooms operate.
Thousands of therapists were sued and lost their licenses.
Repressed memory therapy fell out of practice and was
replaced by more practical methods. Recent research has
only reinforced the painful lesson of that era: our beliefs are
malleable, and our memories are horribly unreliable.
There’s a lot of conventional wisdom out there telling you
to “trust yourself,” to “go with your gut,” and all sorts of
other pleasant-sounding clichés.
But perhaps the answer is to trust yourself less. After all,
if our hearts and minds are so unreliable, maybe we should
be questioning our own intentions and motivations more. If
we’re all wrong, all the time, then isn’t self-skepticism and
the rigorous challenging of our own beliefs and assumptions
the only logical route to progress?
This may sound scary and self-destructive. But it’s
actually quite the opposite. It’s not only the safer option, but
it’s liberating as well.
The Dangers of Pure Certainty
Erin sits across from me at the sushi restaurant and tries to
explain why she doesn’t believe in death. It’s been almost
three hours, and she’s eaten exactly four cucumber rolls