The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F_ck

rape and abuse women out of their certainty that they’re
entitled to women’s bodies.
Evil people never believe that they are evil; rather, they
believe that everyone else is evil.
In controversial experiments, now simply known as the
Milgram Experiments, named for the psychologist Stanley
Milgram, researchers told “normal” people that they were to
punish other volunteers for breaking various rules. And
punish them they did, sometimes escalating the punishment
to the point of physical abuse. Almost none of the punishers
objected or asked for explanation. On the contrary, many of
them seemed to relish the certainty of the moral
righteousness bestowed upon them by the experiments.
The problem here is that not only is certainty
unattainable, but the pursuit of certainty often breeds more
(and worse) insecurity.
Many people have an unshakable certainty in their ability
at their job or in the amount of salary they should be
making. But that certainty makes them feel worse, not
better. They see others getting promoted over them, and
they feel slighted. They feel unappreciated and
underacknowledged.
Even a behavior as simple as sneaking a peek at your
boyfriend’s text messages or asking a friend what people
are saying about you is driven by insecurity and that aching
desire to be certain.
You can check your boyfriend’s text messages and find
nothing, but that’s rarely the end of it; then you may start
wondering if he has a second phone. You can feel slighted
and stepped over at work to explain why you missed out on
a promotion, but then that causes you to distrust your
coworkers and second-guess everything they say to you
(and how you think they feel about you), which in turn
makes you even less likely to get promoted. You can keep
pursuing that special someone you’re “supposed” to be
with, but with each rebuffed advance and each lonely night,