The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F_ck

When you’re pursuing a wide breadth of experience,
there are diminishing returns to each new adventure, each
new person or thing. When you’ve never left your home
country, the first country you visit inspires a massive
perspective shift, because you have such a narrow
experience base to draw on. But when you’ve been to
twenty countries, the twenty-first adds little. And when
you’ve been to fifty, the fifty-first adds even less.
The same goes for material possessions, money,
hobbies, jobs, friends, and romantic/sexual partners—all the
lame superficial values people choose for themselves. The
older you get, the more experienced you get, the less
significantly each new experience affects you. The first time
I drank at a party was exciting. The hundredth time was fun.
The five hundredth time felt like a normal weekend. And the
thousandth time felt boring and unimportant.
The big story for me personally over the past few years
has been my ability to open myself up to commitment. I’ve
chosen to reject all but the very best people and
experiences and values in my life. I shut down all my
business projects and decided to focus on writing full-time.
Since then, my website has become more popular than I’d
ever imagined possible. I’ve committed to one woman for
the long haul and, to my surprise, have found this more
rewarding than any of the flings, trysts, and one-night
stands I had in the past. I’ve committed to a single
geographic location and doubled down on the handful of my
significant, genuine, healthy friendships.
And what I’ve discovered is something entirely
counterintuitive: that there is a freedom and liberation in
commitment. I’ve found increased opportunity and upside in
rejecting alternatives and distractions in favor of what I’ve
chosen to let truly matter to me.
Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no
longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous.
Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your