The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F_ck

never changed. For years he went on, empty night after
empty night, bottle after bottle. Always some excuse.
Always some reason he couldn’t slow down.
Giving up that lifestyle threatened his identity too much.
The Party Guy was all he knew how to be. To give that up
would be like committing psychological hara-kiri.
We all have values for ourselves. We protect these
values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and
maintain them. Even if we don’t mean to, that’s how our
brain is wired. As noted before, we’re unfairly biased toward
what we already know, what we believe to be certain. If I
believe I’m a nice guy, I’ll avoid situations that could
potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I’m an awesome
cook, I’ll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over
and over again. The belief always takes precedence. Until
we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are
and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and
anxiety. We cannot change.
In this way, “knowing yourself” or “finding yourself” can
be dangerous. It can cement you into a strict role and
saddle you with unnecessary expectations. It can close you
off to inner potential and outer opportunities.
I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are.
Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And
it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and
accepting of the differences in others.
Kill Yourself
Buddhism argues that your idea of who “you” are is an
arbitrary mental construction and that you should let go of
the idea that “you” exist at all; that the arbitrary metrics by
which you define yourself actually trap you, and thus you’re
better off letting go of everything. In a sense, you could say
that Buddhism encourages you to not give a fuck.