RELATIONS OF DOMINANCE AND EQUALITY IN D. H. LAWRENCE

184
Ursula first refused him cried like a little child, turns to
his Colonel's daughter, marries her and goes to India.
Ursula
is not notified of the wedding.
She is not at all sad over
their breaking off till she suddenly finds out that she is
pregnant.
It is in Ursula's discovery of her pregnancy.that Lawrence
almost destroys the whole book.
Ursula starts to deny all her
previous hard-won independence and begins to praise her. mother
in her 'trance of motherhood'.
The apex of this strange Ursula
happens when she writes a letter to Skrebensky.
It reads as
follows:
Since you left me I have suffered a great deal,
and so have come to myself. I cannot tell you the
remorse I feel for my wicked, perverse behaviour.
It was given to me to love you, and to know your
love for me. But instead of thankfully, on my
knees, taking what God had given, I must have the
moon in my keeping, I must insist on having the
moon for my.own. Because I could not have it,
everything else must go.
I do not know if you can ever forgive me. I
could die with shame to think of my behaviour with
you during our last times, and I don't know if I
could ever bear to look you in the face again.
Truly the best thing would be for :me to die, and
cover my fantasies for ever. But I find I am with
chi Id , so that cannot be.
It is your child, and for that reason I must
revere it and submit my body entirely to its
welfare, entertaining no thought of death, which
once more is largely conceit. Therefore, because
you once loved me, and because of this child, I
ask you to have me back. If you will cable me one
word, I will come to you as soon as I can. I swear
to you to be a dutiful wife, and to serve you in
all things. For now I only hate myself and my own
conceited foolishness. I love you — - I love the
thought of you — you are natural and decent all
through, whilst I was so false. Once I am with you
again, I shall ask no more than to rest in your
shelter all my life (p.485 - My underlining).
Through Ursula it might seem that the author wants to punish all
the other Brangwen women who looked for something beyond the
1blood-intimacy'.
Ursula's search for independence is