emmanuel reynaud holy virility the social construction of masculinity

[44 / Holy virility]
The music of power
His general attitude is shown in the language he uses: he fucks
and she gets fucked; he portrays heterosexual relationships
based on this theme through images which are as graphic as
they are varied. The most common is of course that of the
violinist, the violin and bow ― the traditional trio― the man, the
woman and the phallus. The relationship is clear: the violin
produces harmonious notes which melt into the air, but without
the violinist and his bow, it is nothing more than a beautiful,
curvaceous object, a mere promise of music. It quivers but
cannot choose the rhythm or the melody; it is dependent, body
and soul, on the musician, on his skill, his mood and his
sensitivity. The comparison is striking and it has been used
unsparingly. Simone de Beauvoir quotes both Balzac, 'Woman
is like a lyre which gives up its secret only to him who knows
how to play on it,' and Jules Guyot, 'He is the player who
produces either harmony or cacophony with his hand and his
bow. Woman is, from this point of view, verily a stringed
instrument that will produce either harmonious or discordant
sounds according to how well it is tuned' [3]
However, man does not always have a musical ear, in which
case he can choose from a vast range of metaphors: he can
identify with the hunter, weapon in hand, confronting his most
dangerous quarry, woman; the toreador in the bull-ring, feeling
reassured by the presence of his sword, knowing he will soon
deliver the final thrust; the sweating gymnast performing
tirelessly until he has worn out his vaulting horse; the warrior
after the siege, breaking down the draw-bridge with his
battering ram and forcing, his way as victor into the conquered
stronghold. There is no shortage of metaphors, and they all
originate from man's obsession with dominating sexuality
through woman and dominating woman through sexuality.
[Man and sexuality / 45]
Man imagines his fulfilment not really in the pleasure he could
experience, but rather in the obstacles he overcomes;
sometimes he even goes as far as to create difficulties in order
to assert himself. Knowing that the outcome is never certain
goads him on in his struggle. Just as he may be wounded by the
animal, engulfed by the sea, spurned by the mountain, so may
he be refused or bewitched by woman. And so, although he is
tempted by his dreams of conquest and adventure, man is often
happy to sit back and admire the success of those who have