emmanuel reynaud holy virility the social construction of masculinity

Man does not generally envisage relationships other than as
power relations. He chases, approaches or seduces a woman to
conquer her; the language he uses is revealing and sounds
more like that of a sailor, hunter or warrior than of a lover. A
woman is not a person to be discovered, but a body to be
undressed; he does not really 'know' her until he has penetrated
her vagina. She is a prey to be slaughtered; he sets traps for
her. She is a town he draws up plans to invade, he imagines she
is a fortress to be stormed by force, and, as he has a taste for
combat, the more she resists, the more he insists.
[80 / Holy virility]
An easy victory does not usually interest him much, he prefers
to have to make an effort. Then he can give his talents free rein.
For he has a variety of sexual gambits. He can be flamboyant,
try to impress or clown around. He laughs, cries or shows his
fangs. He sweats, he suffers. He sometimes goes so far as to
throw himself at the feet of the desired object. But what does it
matter what he does or says in front of a woman: the most
important thing is to win, to end the siege in victory and
penetrate in triumph the vagina he has so craftily forced open.
Once the conquest is over and the laurels won, the relationship
often bores him― we have seen the poverty of his sexuality,
and can understand his lack of interest in his 'onanistic coitus'.
What really matters to the 'real man', is the challenge itself: the
difficult appropriation of the 'inaccessible' woman, the virgin
territory that he wants to conquer. When his attempts conclude
in victorious penetration, there is nothing left but to boast of his
success and set off to took for new targets.
Thus, man wages war on the battlefield of love, for «the warrior
loves danger and sport, that is why he loves woman: she is the
most dangerous sport of all.» [9] But it sometimes happens,
during these dangerous liaisons, that he gets caught at his own
game, that he believes the nonsense he spouts ― 'Oh my love,
I'd do anything for you, I put my life in your hands,' and so on―
and instead of leaving once again for battle, he may want to
annex his latest conquest for good, and marry her. His sexual
appropriation now takes a different form. It is no longer a
question of possessing a woman once and for all through her
vagina, but of using her vagina from time to time for his sexual
release. Conjugal rights provide for his needs in this case and
legitimate rape ―a sort of permanent 'landlord's due' [10]
enacted by the husband. The wife is subjected to providing a
sexual service which she cannot get out of: not only must the
marriage be regularly 'consummated' on pain of breach of
contract but, furthermore, rape within marriage has no legal
existence. If she does not submit to her husband's wishes, he
can quite legally exercise his rights by force. On condition, of
course, that he does not disturb the peace and that the wife
does not make too much noise and wake the neighbours.
[The daddy and the rapist / 81 ]