emmanuel reynaud holy virility the social construction of masculinity

consider his penis as an organ associated with pleasure, but as
an instrument of power and appropriation. And so often he is
afraid that the weapon will be used against him. When
confronted with a woman's vulva he generally feels a certain
sense of security, as he sees himself as the only one who is
armed: in reality he is more afraid of the possibility of defensive
reaction from the vulva. Legends of toothed vaginas abound on
all continents, and in certain societies it is frequent for the
husband to be afraid of 'deflowering' his bride himself; but
whatever his fears may be, man generally succeeds in getting
round them, and it is rare for them to prevent him from
appropriating a woman.
[56 / Holy virility]
As a rule, man manages to repress his fear of the castrating
vagina rather well, and he does his best not to imagine it as an
organ of appropriation; in the same way that he refuses to
believe it possible for him to be raped by a woman, he also likes
to think that she cannot use him sexually. Besides, although he
complains loudly that women never make the first move, as
soon as a woman does express her desires and take the
initiative, he usually shies away. The mere hint of that
possibility can disturb him. Thus, for example, Liliana Cavani's
film Night Porter was banned in Italy for the following reasons:
'Obscenity, scenes of excessive vulgarity showing sexual
intercourse, depravity. This film, doubly pernicious as it was
directed by a woman, shows a disgraceful scene in which the
woman takes the initiative in a sexual relationship.' [10]
Man does not generally like to think that a woman can use him
as she pleases, like a violin or a urinal: he prefers to imagine
that only man can make another human being into a sexual
object. It is revealing that man's fear of sexuality is often
combined with his fear of homosexuality. In fact, man clearly
expresses, through his revulsion for 'passive' homosexuality,
his loathing for woman, as he would not like to take her place.
He also reveals that he is aware of the oppressiveness of his
own sexual attitude by making it clear that he would not want a
sexual relationship with someone like himself.
When he is in the presence of homosexuals, the man who is not
one himself, generally feels uncomfortable: he is worried and
confused when he comes into contact with a world in which
roles do not appear to be socially rigid, and seem likely to
develop according to an individual balance of power. His
reactions vary depending on appearances: in the face of a
'feminine'-looking homosexual, he may feel threatened by the
image of a man who is not a real man, and this aversion to the
representation of what he himself could be, sometimes
manifests itself in a need to beat up a 'poof' or a desire to screw
him, to 'let him have it'. On the other hand, with a homosexual
who looks 'virile' he may have a vague fear of ending up in his
arms against his will: he is afraid of being picked up or even
raped, for, in this respect, man knows he is not in the habit of
letting the object of his desire have any say in the matter. He