emmanuel reynaud holy virility the social construction of masculinity

Male sexuality and its breakdowns
Man is afraid of letting himself go. He does not abandon himself
to his pleasure; he confines it within the limits of his penis, and
generally seeks it in his mind and on a woman's body. In this
way he lives out fantasies or experiences orgasm vicariously,
but he rarely lets himself be carried away by his own sensuality.
He centres it on his penis without feeling that his whole body is
totally sexualised: be stems the tide of pleasure at its source for
fear it may submerge him if allowed to swell.
[The myth of the phallic orgasm / 63]
When he embraces a woman, man does not feel enveloped and
overwhelmed by pleasure. He penetrates and appropriates her,
projecting himself into her as if he hoped to draw from her the
sensuality which he is reluctant to experience. His mind fixed on
the objective, the erect penis aimed at the target, he does not
allow himself to be caught up in the experience of two bodies
discovering each other; he is afraid of losing his way, and
prefers to follow the route already mapped out in his head. He
sometimes makes an effort to satisfy his partner, and
compensate for what he is missing by being a spectator of her
ecstasy, but, most of the time, while he ejaculates, he is content
to reel off in his mind the mental film in which he finds all the
images of the sensations he lacks. Man fragments himself, his
desexualised body jerks between his penis and his head. He
deliberately alienates himself from his pleasure, he does not feel
completely involved in sensuality; he nips the storm in the bud
for fear of drowning, his ecstasy then becomes mere wavelets:
four thrusts of the pelvis, a few drops of sperm and it is all over.
Man habitually compensates for his sexual dissatisfaction
through various forms of mental and material satisfaction. The
advantages which can be gained from the sexual appropriation
of a woman are indeed many and varied― from the satisfaction
of having lived out his fantasy to the possibility, once the 'act' is
over, of having his meals cooked or his buttons sewn on.
However, it can also happen that man's sexual frustration can
take a pathological form: satyriasis.
The word 'satyriasis' is rarely used, and yet it defines a classic
masculine sexual disorder: 'An abnormally intense and
persistant desire in a man for sexual intercourse' (Collins
English Dictionary. 1979). In fact, it is the equivalent of
'nymphomania'― 'An abnormally intense and persistent desire
in a woman for sexual intercourse' (ibid.) The term
'nymphomaniac' has even entered everyday vocabulary. where