emmanuel reynaud holy virility the social construction of masculinity

[Between men / 99]
Faced with the weakness and obvious ignorance of the child,
the father does not give information, nor does he formulate an
opinion: he decrees and enforces a sentence; he uses his
strength and his knowledge as the instruments and justification
of his power. He sees in his son the mirror of his own
dependence and he wants to make him into an image of his
success: through his son he can avenge his own childhood and
make him the counterbalance to the share of humiliation he
endures every day. He does not let the child construct his own
life, on the contrary, he projects the fulfilment of a good many of
his fantasies on to him. In one way or another, he soon begins
to teach him to become a 'man': that is to submit to power so
that he in turn will be able to exercise it. The father thus instils
in his son a pattern of behaviour that the son will encounter and
reproduce in his relations with men, and in which, no matter
how high you get, there is always someone higher.
From an early age, the son does not judge his actions by his
own experiences and perception of the world, but admires and
despises himself through the eyes of his father. His discoveries,
his creations and his games are lost in his anxiety about his
father's judgement ―what must he do to be like Daddy, to
please Daddy, annoy Daddy, beat Daddy. Of course, at school,
the image of the infallible father fades, but the pattern has been
set, and the ground lost by one father is gained by another: a
teacher, a coach, a stronger and more experienced friend ... the
dance of the fathers has begun. And it will continue through the
various stages of the child's formation (family, school and
factory, high school and university, army) and accompany the
son with a changing rhythm, but an unchanging tune: 'You don't
know anything, Daddy knows everything.' Whether from the
mouth of the sergeant of the marine corps ―'You're an
arsehole': 'Yes Sergeant!'― or from the distinguished lips of a
university professor, the message rarely varies: you must learn
to obey to be able to give orders, and to think like daddy to be
authoritative.
[100 / Holy virility]
Throughout his education, the boy revolves round his father;
both the judge of his success and reference point, his father is
the symbol of success and he who ratifies it. He designates the
most deserving son, distributes rewards and punishments,
decorations or solitary confinement, as he sees fit; he is the
judge of good behaviour. But, his position is coveted, and in
time, the son will start competing with him.
The son is brought up according to the principle 'be a slave and
you will become master', but he is so used to obeying and
submitting that he will invariably seek shelter under the
protection of authority to justify his thoughts and acts. The
marks of his initiation are so deeply engraved in him that his
eventual rebellion against his father is usually not more than the
substitution of another one: he rids himself of one judge to