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expression that stops your reader along the way while he admires your handiwork and
forgets what you're working at, you may never get him back on track. Sometimes these
phrases may not have much meaning. "This public speaking course can be your capstone
to success." What in the heck is a "capstone"? The reader might know it's the finishing
stone of a structure, but if he stops to figure out how that metaphor applies to him and
the product being sold, he'll probably never make it to the order card. Distrust and question
those dandy little word structures that please you. Strike them out, and let the reader
move on to the action.
4. Edit for order. Does this follow that? There are natural sequences of ideas that are easier
for people to follow. Small, big, bigger, biggest. If you are describing the advantages of
your product, this could be the best way to build them. Then, now, later on, future. If your
explanation is related to time, this is the logical order for development. In testing whether
your copy is orderly question "Should the idea appear where I have it, sooner, or later?"
You could wind up turning the whole piece upside-down.
5. Edit for "reason why." Do advantages you attribute to your product just sit there in
mid-air, supported only by the fact that they appear on paper? Why does it do what you
say it will? How did it get that way? What proof can you offer? The reader needs a little
more than unsupported puffery to decide to buy. A mailing from a business publication says,
"The unusual resources which the editors draw upon are unparalleled in American pub
lishing." Why the resources are unusual... why they are unparalleled is never made clear.
6. Edit to stretch benefits. This is another way to help your copy get away from unsupport
ed puffery. A circular tells me that I'll get new techniques in thinking ... payoff tables ..
. the "decision tree." Those sound like benefits, but they don't go far enough. Is it possi
ble that "pay-off tables" could be stretched to: "How pay-off tables tell you when your
decision is on the right track"? The decision tree could become: "Unique in approach, the
'decision tree' helps you put the elements of the problem in logical order" This kind of
editing is related to what Elmer Wheeler meant when he said, "Sell the sizzle, not the
steak."
7. Edit for market. Is your prospect male or female, educated or uneducated? An outdoor
person or desk-bound? A specialist or generalist? In looking through your draft copy, is
your language, style, and tone something your prospect can be comfortable with on his
own terms? Writing for Field & Stream is entirely different from writing for the Harvard
Business Review prospect.
THE COPYWRITER'S PACKET
Research and copywriting are two separate tasks even though they may be performed by the same
individual. However, regardless of who does the pre-writing research, it's a good idea to maintain
a continuing file of background information that can be used over and over whenever promotion
copy is needed for the same product or service — or even as a starter file for similar products or
services. My personal preference for copy packets is to keep all of the information in indexed ring
binders, with the latest material always added to the front of each section. Then, when it's time for
the writing to begin, the reference material is ready and waiting.
The copywriter's packet should include: old copy, results from previous mailings, competitors'
copy, vendors' data, specification sheet, editorial references, sales records, and customer comments.
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