Introduction-E

around. He arrived when I was fifteen. He had been with us for a while when my father
arrived from bear-hunting. My mother told him that his future son-in-law was here. I
don’t know how he reacted because he was not my biological father, but he smiled and
happily replied that he would have an additional helper now.
You didn’t even feel like touching the person at first, but eventually you got used
to it. For that reason, I had to try and be happy about my future husband, even though
just making eye contact with him was hard and there was nowhere to flee.
I am not just talking about myself. I think that’s how couples got to be together. Not
too long after I met him, by summer time, he was a really close friend. When [a man]
was keen on getting married, [he was] not going to let you go. Even though you didn’t
want to be touched in the first place, you eventually got used to it.
The way I understood marriage back then, and I used to write about events, I
considered ourselves married when we started to go together. We were approached by
three different ministers who wanted to marry us, but I always refused. They said we
had to be married in church to make it official, but God can see what’s happening and
he was already our witness. I won my arguments and we still weren’t married in 1994.
What do you mean when you say that they would get used to it?
Elisapee: As I said earlier, you didn’t feel like touching your new spouse at first and it
was impossible when you had never touched a man before. From the way he talked to
you, followed you around, you eventually got used to being around him. They would
not try to hold our hands. We did as much as we could to avoid sexual contact. Because
I was intimidated by my parents, I didn’t try to pick something up and hit him with it.
Some were like that?
Elisapee: Yes, I was intimidated by my parents. Even though I tried to resist, I wasn’t
permitted to do this too much. I didn’t want a husband back then, but I ended up having
a wonderful husband. It was because I wanted to be a child longer. It must be
embarrassing for you to listen to this.
Was the husband that was arranged for you already known when
your mother was pregnant with you?
Elisapee: No, it was probably arranged when we were really small. Our parents got
together. Both myself and my future husband were chubby little babies, so then they
decided we would be man and wife.
18 Introduction to the Oral Traditions