Testimonies for the Church Vol 1 - Lansing SDA Church

26 Testimonies for the Church Volume 1[23]I believed the solemn words spoken by the servant of God, and myheart was pained when they were opposed or made the subject of jest.I frequently attended the meetings, and believed that Jesus was soonto come in the clouds of heaven; but my great anxiety was to be readyto meet Him. My mind constantly dwelt upon the subject of holinessof heart. I longed above all things to obtain this great blessing and feelthat I was entirely accepted of God.Among the Methodists I had heard much in regard to sanctification.I had seen persons lose their physical strength under the influence ofstrong mental excitement, and had heard this pronounced the evidenceof sanctification. But I could not comprehend what was necessary inorder to be fully consecrated to God. My Christian friends said tome: “Believe in Jesus now! Believe that He accepts you now!” ThisI tried to do, but found it impossible to believe that I had received ablessing which, it seemed to me, should electrify my whole being. Iwondered at my own hardness of heart in being unable to experiencethe exaltation of spirit that others manifested. It seemed to me that Iwas different from them and forever shut out from the perfect joy ofholiness of heart.My ideas concerning justification and sanctification were confused.These two states were presented to my mind as separate anddistinct from each other; yet I failed to comprehend the differenceor understand the meaning of the terms, and all the explanations ofthe preachers increased my difficulties. I was unable to claim theblessing for myself, and wondered if it was to be found only amongthe Methodists, and if, in attending the advent meetings, I was notshutting myself away from that which I desired above all else, thesanctifying Spirit of God.Still, I observed that some of those who claimed to be sanctified,manifested a bitter spirit when the subject of the soon coming of Christwas introduced; this did not seem to me a manifestation of the holinesswhich they professed. I could not understand why ministers from thepulpit should so oppose the doctrine that Christ’s second coming wasnear. Reformation had followed the preaching of this belief, and manyof the most devoted ministers and laymen had received it as the truth.It seemed to me that those who sincerely loved Jesus would be readyto accept the tidings of His coming and rejoice that it was at hand.