Testimonies for the Church Vol 1 - Lansing SDA Church

Case of Hannah More 617which generated from the wood and coal was mingled with it. I awokewith such a sense of suffocation that I could not breathe lying down,and spent the remainder of the night sitting up. I never before knewthe dreadful feeling of stifling sensations. I began to fear I shouldnever sleep again. I therefore resigned myself into the hands of Godfor life or death, entreating him to spare me if he had any further needof me in his vineyard; otherwise I had no wish to live. I felt entirelyreconciled to the hand of God upon me. But I also felt that satanicinfluences must be resisted. I therefore bade Satan get behind me andaway from me, and told the Lord that I would not turn my hand overto choose either life or death, but that I would refer it implicitly toHim who knew me altogether. My future was unknown to myself,therefore said I, Thy will is best. Life is of no account to me, so far [673]as its pleasures are concerned. All its riches, its honors, are nothingcompared with usefulness. I do not crave them; they cannot satisfy orfill the aching void which unperformed duty leaves to me. I would notlive uselessly, to be a mere blot or blank in life. And though it seems amartyr’s death to die thus, I am resigned, if that is God’s will.“I had said to Sister Thompson the day previous, ‘Were I at BrotherWhite’s, I might be prayed for, and healed.’ She inquired if we couldsend for you and Brother Andrews; but that seemed impracticable, as Icould not, in all probability, live till you arrived. I knew that the Lordby His mighty power and with His potent arm could heal me here,were it best. To Him I felt safe in referring it. I knew He could sendan angel to resist him that hath the power of death, that is, the devil,and felt sure He would, if best. I knew, also, that He could suggestmeasures, were they necessary, for my recovery, and I felt sure Hewould. I soon was better, and able to sleep some.“Thus you see I am still a spared monument of God’s mercy andfaithfulness in afflicting His children. He doth not willingly afflictnor grieve the children of men; but sometimes trials are needed as adiscipline, to wean us from earth—And bid us seek substantial blissBeyond a fleeting world like this.“Now I can say with the poet: