INSTITUTIONALIZED CHILD CARE IN URBAN SOUTH AFRICA

siblings. This became particularly evident when I conferred with him before interviewing
a trio of siblings, ages 8, 10, and 16. “I just want you to be aware that while the oldest
two are aware of their mother’s death, the youngest is not. I don’t think this is the way we
would want him to find out.” I asked him about why the ten year old knew but the eight
year old did not, despite the slim age difference between the two. He then clarified, “it’s
possible that he knows, but he may be in denial from what I can tell. Actually I’m pretty
sure he would have heard from his siblings at some point.” It was the staff’s preference
for children to learn of such events in an organic way, whenever possible through other
family members or siblings. “It shouldn’t happen in such a formal or clinical way,” added
Pastor Mike. This reasserted the importance of sibling relationships as one of the most
significant attachments for the center’s children.
One child’s depiction of her family prior to moving into the center featured her
grandmother and sister. Her brother, who also lived with the family had passed away
during her early childhood. “My brother died,” she explained her drawing. “At first, the
three of us were sad. I didn’t know what to do but I wrote a poem. I still felt very sad but
it helped my sister and grandma feel happier.”
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