(the) American (Novel of)

92 Alison Leigh Brown
With respect to the odd selection from Dostoevski I can only say
that whatever Fyodor meant, the lesson to me is that breaking down
of civility is worse than becoming an idiot.
I have a wonderful new student. She is ruthlessly polite, quite
smart, moderately well read, caffeine laden and darting. We are working
on her speaking style that is still too excitable. She exclaims over
Irigaray and finds it hard to find fault with someone she reveres. I am
doing my best to point out the worst in Irigaray’s work so that Carinessa
(that is her name, her parents must be crazy) can adopt a more sophisticated
distance from authors she loves. I am absolutely committed to
getting her hired. It is more important to me this year than finishing
the book. (This chapter will be done, it might be enough to send out
with a prospectus but I don’t even care. How much better to have a
live work out and about spreading good words about my brilliance and
replicating my work. Carinessa will be my greatest product to date. It
is terribly exciting to have, finally, a really good student. I wish you
could find somebody.)
Oh my, it is time to go eat dinner. I am finding that if I make
a dinner appointment for every night, my work goes much better the
next day. The conversations of the night before give a rhythm to my
writing it would not otherwise have. Tonight I sup with the darling
Corey and the adulterous Ryan. I called and invited Michael just to be
mean; that is, I was hoping he would say yes and then I could watch
Ryan watching the extent of his loss played over and over again. But
Michael said no and who can blame him for that? We are going to a
Chinese place that is quite good. I am bringing Terri and Jennifer. I
invited Carinessa but she is too shy to eat with the great Ryan. (She
says to me, to me having just come from receiving tenure, I know you
know these things but it is galling beyond measure to have her all gaga
over Ryan when I have the better record. She says to me, “Oh I
couldn’t possibly swallow a morsel in his presence.” I thought she was
going to say “He’s so awesome,” or some other American phrase I
would mangle, but not completely, given my acculturation and etc.)
When I wake tomorrow morning I’ll work out vigorously, going over
the things Ryan has said and noting without a little cattiness the way
he has to change his vocabulary to talk to the adorable Corey. Then I
will turn to my treatise on civility with great happiness, marred only
by your lack of being here. I love you and miss you and wish we could