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On Being Becoming William Fenton writes, “There is a principle that students of the Iroquois must inevitably learn: the way a thing is done is often more important than the issue at stake.” 4 Who says what, in what order? On some occasions, such protocol makes all of the difference. Who gets served first and last? Men? Women? Children? These are questions that really matter, sometimes maybe even more than proper moral issues, as Thorstein Veblen intimated when he wrote, “A breach of faith may be condoned, but a breach of decorum can not. ‘Manners maketh man.’ ” 5 Of course, there is also the utter indeterminacy and disorientation of those moments lost beyond meaning precisely because etiquette can find no purchase, moments when the architectonic of cordiality, civility, and consideration are rendered inoperative, that is, when people just don’t care. It is perhaps only at times of such absence, of such lack, that etiquette is understood in its full social and political, that is to say, material merit (just like Heidegger’s broken hammer). Some, therefore, might want to consider etiquette as ritual—ritual that binds, ritual that heals, ritual that sustains human interactions locally and globally. Tempting as this thought may be, we want to resist the desire to restrict etiquette to a question of formulaic or enforced codes. As Aristotle understood, good habits—and thus good manners— are gestures of grace beyond measure rather than of conformity to law as such, something truly fine. The practice of etiquette is not, finally, about mere compliance to external rules or static imperatives. As the chapters in this volume suggest, etiquette is about the execution and performance of those opportunities for consideration of the other, whether stranger or friend, that emerge in everyday lived experience. Etiquette duly acknowledges the existence and necessity of boundaries while negotiating, respectfully traversing, and even transforming the conditions that allow one to become presentable, and thus allow one to extend oneself to the world, as we extend ourselves to you. Notes 1. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, ed. and trans. C. R. Haines (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 11. 2. Mary Wollstonecraft, Vindication of the Rights of Woman (New York: Norton, 1988), p. 4. 3. Alphonso Lingis, The Imperative (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1998), p. 2. 5
6 Ron Scapp and Brian Seitz 4. William N. Fenton, The Great Law and the Longhouse: A Political History of the Iroquois Confederacy (Norman: University of Oklahoma Press, 1998), p. 493. 5. Thorstein Veblen, The Theory of the Leisure Class (New York: Dover, 1994), p. 42.
Page 1 and 2: Reflections on Contemporary Comport
Page 3 and 4: SUNY series, Hot Topics: Contempora
Page 5 and 6: Published by State University of Ne
Page 8 and 9: Contents Introduction On Being Beco
Page 10 and 11: INTRODUCTION On Being Becoming RON
Page 12 and 13: On Being Becoming Wollstonecraft pu
Page 16 and 17: CHAPTER ONE Aristotle’s Aesthetiq
Page 18 and 19: Aristotle’s Aesthetiquette he wil
Page 20 and 21: Aristotle’s Aesthetiquette amusem
Page 22 and 23: Aristotle’s Aesthetiquette The Ru
Page 24: Aristotle’s Aesthetiquette edy wa
Page 27 and 28: 18 Lynne d Johnson transported to t
Page 29 and 30: 20 Lynne d Johnson I’m the carry
Page 31 and 32: 22 Lynne d Johnson Back in the earl
Page 33 and 34: 24 Lynne d Johnson Records, the rac
Page 35 and 36: 26 Lynne d Johnson and Jadakiss—t
Page 37 and 38: 28 Lynne d Johnson Here rhyme battl
Page 39 and 40: 30 Lynne d Johnson be full of drama
Page 42 and 43: CHAPTER THREE Gay Etiquette A Brief
Page 44 and 45: Gay Etiquette tomes. Where’s your
Page 46 and 47: Gay Etiquette Rarely does life prov
Page 48: 2. Ibid., p. 696. 3. Ibid., p. 22.
Page 51 and 52: 42 Kenneth J. Saltman Hardcore body
Page 53 and 54: 44 Kenneth J. Saltman Why would not
Page 55 and 56: 46 Kenneth J. Saltman and perhaps w
Page 58 and 59: CHAPTER FIVE The Etiquette of Adopt
Page 60 and 61: The Etiquette of Adoption of social
Page 62 and 63: The Etiquette of Adoption pieces of
Page 64 and 65:
The Etiquette of Adoption adoption.
Page 66 and 67:
The Etiquette of Adoption birthpare
Page 68 and 69:
CHAPTER SIX Impolitics Toward A Res
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Impolitics effective a manner preci
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Impolitics Remember that there is a
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Impolitics the legal parameters of
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Impolitics longer ‘Other-ing’ t
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CHAPTER SEVEN Coldness and Civility
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Coldness and Civility to be returne
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Coldness and Civility Of course, th
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Coldness and Civility sure that com
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Coldness and Civility mushy, I know
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Coldness and Civility definitions,
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Coldness and Civility sorely mistak
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Coldness and Civility Full of cours
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Coldness and Civility Michael and R
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Coldness and Civility you to love m
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Coldness and Civility Please honor
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Coldness and Civility feeling the n
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Coldness and Civility finagle jobs
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CHAPTER EIGHT Eating Dogs and Women
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Eating Dogs and Women abjection. I
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Eating Dogs and Women which to deal
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Eating Dogs and Women 101 is at the
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Eating Dogs and Women 103 gious rit
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CHAPTER NINE The Taciturn Tongue Me
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The Taciturn Tongue 107 expression
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The Taciturn Tongue 109 this sacral
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The Taciturn Tongue 111 characteriz
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The Taciturn Tongue 113 brings one
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The Taciturn Tongue 115 Mumon cited
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118 David Farrell Krell My particul
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CHAPTER ELEVEN Murder So Bland The
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Murder So Bland protest in the name
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Murder So Bland 125 and suffering t
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Murder So Bland 127 Quincey argues,
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Murder So Bland 129 postmodern inst
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Murder So Bland to the model, or th
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Murder So Bland 133 10. Ibid. 11. J
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136 Hildegard Hoeller decidedly und
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138 Hildegard Hoeller some vexation
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140 Hildegard Hoeller disentangled.
Page 151 and 152:
142 Hildegard Hoeller could grow up
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144 Hildegard Hoeller Jumping yet a
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146 Hildegard Hoeller fragmented wo
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148 Hildegard Hoeller world, cannot
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150 Hildegard Hoeller 17. This resu
Page 161 and 162:
152 Shannon Winnubst the political
Page 163 and 164:
154 Shannon Winnubst Whether one kn
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156 Shannon Winnubst goddess festiv
Page 167 and 168:
158 Shannon Winnubst neatly into se
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160 Shannon Winnubst Taste, as I ho
Page 171 and 172:
162 Shannon Winnubst squarely in th
Page 173 and 174:
164 Kevin MacDonald kind of cultura
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166 Kevin MacDonald be closer to th
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168 Kevin MacDonald sacred presence
Page 180 and 181:
CHAPTER FIFTEEN A Place Where the S
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A Place Where the Soul Can Rest 173
Page 184 and 185:
Page 186 and 187:
Page 188:
A Place Where the Soul Can Rest Not
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182 Don Hanlon Johnson opposite bor
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184 Don Hanlon Johnson 150. The gra
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186 Don Hanlon Johnson fine damask,
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188 Don Hanlon Johnson however, had
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190 Don Hanlon Johnson I had troubl
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192 Don Hanlon Johnson into the pur
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194 Don Hanlon Johnson The argument
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196 Don Hanlon Johnson to his press
Page 208 and 209:
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Make It Look Easy
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Make It Look Easy 201 of sheer quan
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Make It Look Easy 203 in its very r
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Make It Look Easy 205 disciplined m
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Etiquette and Miss
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 209 u
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Etiquette and Missile Defense appra
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 213 e
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 215 t
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 217 M
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 219 D
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Etiquette and Missile Defense 221 2
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CHAPTER NINETEEN Odysseus Lies THOM
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Odysseus Lies 225 out another sort
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Odysseus Lies 227 prior condition f
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Odysseus Lies 229 repetition of, sa
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Odysseus Lies 231 etiquette of hosp
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Odysseus Lies 233 taken refuge from
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Odysseus Lies 235 the modern appeal
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Odysseus Lies 237 believe that the
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CHAPTER TWENTY Take Clothes, For Ex
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Take Clothes, For Example 241 the G
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Take Clothes, For Example 243 has d
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Take Clothes, For Example 245 the b
Page 256 and 257:
Take Clothes, For Example 247 baggy
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Contributors Hazel E. Barnes is dis
Page 260 and 261:
Contributors 251 Karmen MacKendrick
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abjection, 96, 101; expressions of,
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culture: African American, 18-21; b
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History of Sexuality, The (Foucault
Page 268 and 269:
pleasure, 14 Poetics (Aristotle), 9
Page 270:
CULTURAL STUDIES / PHILOSOPHY Etiqu
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