International Handbook of Clinical Hypnosis - E-Lib FK UWKS

INJUNCTIVE COMMUNICATION 89
difference. Potential pathologies can be seen as an escalation in symmetry and/or
rigidity in complementarity. In a complementary relationship, one participant is in
the superior or ``one-up'' position, and the other is in corresponding ``one-down''
position' pp. 68±70). Since complementary relationships are far more common
than symmetric, I will describe them ®rst.
COMPLEMENTARY RELATIONSHIPS
According to Haley 1963), a complementary relationship involves two people
exchanging different types of behaviors. `One gives and the other receives. One
teaches and the other learns' p. 111). One-up people take charge, making
decisions based on their own, internal preferences. One-down people, on the other
hand, monitor their environment for cues before acting. They base their decision on
external information, often responding to the overt and covert directions of the oneup
individual. The observable manifestations of these traits include the steadier eye
contact and bolder stance of the one-up individual, in contrast to the more tentative
mannerisms of the one-down individual.
Essentially, the one-up person controls and de®nes the relationship. The implicit
injunction of the interaction is: `I will determine the direction that the relationship
takes ...In this relationship, we will have fun learn/be intimate/etc.)!' The onedown
person responds to the demands of the injunction.
Ideally, one takes either role depending on circumstances: ¯exibility is bene®cial
to a socially effective existence. For instance, a school teacher may assume a oneup
position in the classroom during the day, but unconsciously switch to a onedown
posture when taking a night course in a new subject.
We are not speci®cally taught this swing from one role to another. Neither do we
customarily discuss or negotiate which position in the relationship we will assume.
Rather, we automatically adopt one position or the other, entering into an unspoken
interpersonal contract that is determined within seconds of an encounter. Couples
quickly settle into complementary roles, but they can alter their roles depending on
context. One partner, for instance, might be generally one-up in the social sphere,
while the other may take command in ®nancial matters. Complementary roles tend
to be relatively stable, although they can be modi®ed by circumstances.
A person's inability to ¯exibly assume either one-up or one-down roles dependent
on the contextual demands can pose dif®culties for that individual, particularly
if the individual has the habit of rigidly assuming one role under all circumstances.
When an individual insists on maintaining a particular position, change can be
impeded or even impossible to achieve. Telling a one-up person that he or she is
in¯exibly one-up is usually ineffective in bringing about change. Most rigidly oneup
individuals have developed skillful manoeuvers for parrying overt challenges to
their position.
Conversely, some people insist on being one-down, presenting themselves as