''Vladimir Nabokov's Comic Quest for Reality' - Nottingham eTheses

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What were the things that really concerned him?
We learn from his old friend that Sebastian used
to make "obscurely immoral statements, related to
Life, Death or God", but his friend assumes that
Sebastian made them to annoy him; he "never believed
that [Sebastian] really meant what he said" (45).
We also learn that Sebastian used to retire to his
room to emerge only after some time of complete ab-
sorption, with some poem he had just composed. To
these poems, however, neither V nor Sebastian's
friend attach much importance: "Little things like
that are the darlings of oblivion" (45-46). This of
course puts an end to any hope of learning something
essential from Sebastian's intimate friend.
V makes a brave effort not to leave things in
this unsatisfactory state, trying to imagine what
might have occupied Sebastian's thougts at that time:
That cockney girl with her soft hair still
in plaits...? The form of a particular
cloud? Some misty sunset beyond a black
Russian fir-wood...? The inner meaning of
grassblade and star? The unknown language
of silence? The terrific weight of a dewdrop?
The heartbreaking beauty of a pebble
among millions and millions of pebbles,
all making sense, but what sense? The old,
old question of Who are you? to one's own
self...? (4.6)
He becomes quite eloquent, actually succeeding in
conveying the impression as if he were getting down
to some central issue of Sebastian's secret. But he
gives himself away; of course it is all speculation
and partly what he hopes might have been in Sebas-
tian's mind: "0h, how much I would give for such a
memory coming to him! " (46)