Military life in Italy : sketches - Societa italiana di storia militare

348 MILITARY LIFE.
suffer did she imagine it. But this intense affection for you
gave me strength and courage. 'Am I suffering ? ' I said. ' Oh,
my mother has suffered much more forme and with what cour-
;
age she concealed her pain and danger when ill in order not to
frighten me.' And thinking of you and your love for me, what
esteem you have for my heart
idea of a cowardly feeling
and character, the idea, the sole
on the battle-field filled me with
horror because it seemed an outrage to you, and rather than
cause you shame I would have died. I too went over your
history in my mind during those long evenings passed under
the tents ;
and as children fancy paradise after their fashion, I
dreamed of seeing you as a child ;
and then as a girl when
in your garden at Savona you read the books which you first
placed in my hands ;
then as bride and mother ;
when I was
ill, and you made paper hats to amuse me do you remember ?
and put them on your head and played
bits of the chair ;
wish you to do it, but you said :
Let me bring
it ;
this is my comfort.'
the drum with two
brought my coffee to my bed, and I did not
'
Then all the nursing of my poor infirm father through those
long sleepless nights : You dear, holy woman ! Then when I
returned from college the first time, and you kissed my jacket.
'
But who is this woman ?
'
I asked myself.
'
What a fool I am !
Why does she love and adore me so much that I am her life,
her world, and her happiness ? Why
is it thus ? Do I deserve
it ? Who am I ? There are many other mothers who are not
and do not do like her ;
why should God have given me such
an angel, or why did he not give her a more worthy son ?' No,
no, let me finish how can I be grateful enough to you, how
!
can I reward you ? If I should place at your
feet the crown
of the world, could 1 give you back the thousandth part of the