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Self-esteem and self imageSome of the participants also suffer from low self-esteem. This impact is seriously feltduring the initial period following diagnoses of HIV and it may take a while to beemotionally strong depending on the support received.“Saya rasa macam rendah diri lah. Rasa rendah diri memang adalahdalam diri kan”(“I felt low self-esteem. Feeling of low self esteem is there, in ourself”)(Female, 30yrs, University education, Infected Partner)“Rasa malu lah. Macam kalau kita tengok orang lain, kita pun sihat juga.Kita macam orang biasa, tapi terasa lah tahu lah kita sendiri ini adapenyakit”(”Feel embrassed. Like how we look at other people, we are also healthy.We are like normal people, but felt it...we know that we ourselves havethis illness”)(Female, 35yrs, Primary education, Infected Partner)“Having HIV positive feels so distress. I just want to stay alone. I mean,I just want to stay away from others”(Male, 30yrs, Primary education, Refugee)Religious participation and/or spiritualityThe FGDs revealed mixed feeling towards religious beliefs and practices. Some of theparticipants turned to the higher power for help, while others remain the same. Somealso shunned away from religious places for fear of being asked many questions, thuswould rather not attend any religious services. Others turned to God for help, while somedo find moral support from fellow religious members and counselled by religiousauthorities. The support can also be in the form of financial assistance or basicnecessities (rice, floor, sugar, etc.), the latter being in the rural settings.“Biasa dia orang yang banyak tanyalah. Dia orang yang banyak tanya.Kakak yang banyak tanya. Kadang-kadang, tiap-tiap jumaat, kita harussebutkan. Kalau saya tak sebut pun, dia orang Tanya. Dia orang tanyamacam mana, dia orang plan untuk saya lah. Dari situlah, kita macambuat kekuatan semula”(”Usually they ask a lot of question. They asked a lot of question. Sisterask a lot. Sometimes, every Friday, I have to say it. If i didn’t say it, theywill ask. They will ask, so how, they plan for me lah. From there, weregain our strength”)(Female, 36yrs, Upper secondary education, Infected Partner)”I used to ask them [church members] to pray for me, you know. I talkedto them but I didn’t tell them the exact sickness I’m having. It’s sad, butin Sri Aman, I went to the priest there. I told him what exactly happenedto me because that is a healing church. So, I think prayers help also lah. I61