978-1572305441

Teddy 101
there’s no use asking myself that question. Is it any less real or genuine
than the intimacy I feel with my wife and children? How could I ever
compare experiences of intimacy, quantitatively or qualitatively? I can
only conclude that the intimacy and thoughtfulness that go into the selection
and giving of these presents is as deep and as meaningful as it is
for typical people, perhaps even more so since there are no hidden messages
in these gifts, as there so often are in typical families and relationships.
These are true gifts with no strings attached, since to a large extent
the capacity to attach strings to gifts is lacking.
I know three of the residents better than the others: Justin (from
Chapter 3), Jeremy, and Tom. All three are in their late twenties, early
thirties. Jeremy and Tom have AS, and Justin has autism. All three experienced
considerable hardship growing up, coping with the academic
expectations of teachers and the taunts of other children. Nevertheless,
they are all proud of their recent achievements and of living away from
home.
Justin loves to listen to music, Tom is an avid reader, and Jeremy
likes to walk all over town. They are good friends; they like to spend
time together, to talk about their mutual interests, to share experiences
just like everybody else. However, being with others is not the only
thing in their life; they also like to be alone to pursue their own interests.
Tom does not take it wrong if Jeremy does not call him every Friday
night to go out on the town.
With each other, they are without guile, incapable of telling a lie or
being deceitful, and they are never violent. Neither are they cruel to
each other or in the habit of making fun of each other’s eccentricities
and foibles. These acts, typically seen in normal people, require a sophisticated
theory of mind and excellent executive function skills,
which are deficient in people with ASDs, as seen in earlier chapters.
One has to know what the other person will believe to be able to lie to
him successfully. One has to carefully plan a certain course of action
and anticipate the reaction of others to be deceitful. Justin, Tom, and
Jeremy are innocent of many sins except perhaps sloth; no doubt they
would prefer to indulge themselves rather than do work or chores
around the house. It is true they are not “normal,” if being normal includes
the capacity to lie, to deceive, to be cruel to each other, and to
humiliate their fellow human beings. Their parents and the staff know
that to put them out into the world in an unprotected environment
would be like the slaughter of the innocents. Yet they are adults and are
definitely part of the community, even though they live on the margins