978-1572305441

186 A MIND APART
smiled at her, not only at her eccentricities but also at her courage in going
to school even if the teacher was disparaging to her. There were
many embarrassing moments in those early years. Once, Sophie took
her clothes off in the department store. Seeing the looks on the prim
and proper citizens of this small town, eyes riveted at this spectacle of a
naked girl running up and down the aisles, brought smiles to their
faces. At the time, they were quite upset to be sure, but time gives perspective
and with perspective comes the distance to be amused.
Sophie improved slowly with time. Although she is still largely
nonverbal, she has shown more motivation to communicate using signs
and a picture exchange system, and she seems to understand more. She
still loves feathers and sticks and loves to fit things together, such as
pencils and springs. She also likes to paint with feathers and to look at
books. Sophie will not go to the bathroom without a book about the
Simpsons. She loves Maggie, the baby, because of the frequent tears she
sheds. Sophie enjoys listening to her parents’ old rock and roll records
from the ’70s, especially the Woodstock album. She plays some chords
on the piano and will sit through an entire church service as long as she
is allowed to play the piano at the end. She likes to be with people, especially
adults in her extended family. She likes to touch others and to
put her arm around her mother’s waist, although she still does not like
to be touched herself. Her mother says, “She is a very loving child in her
own way.” It’s the “in her own way” that marks the process of acceptance
without resignation. Her parents can read these behaviors as expressions
of love, even though they might not be recognized as such by
others. And it doesn’t matter. The ability to see behavior not traditionally
associated with feelings of love but being able to imagine, to discern
its purpose in this context, is what is important. This is what leads to a
sense of hope that avoids resignation and despair. There is meaning in
these behaviors—there is a communication, a language—if only the
code can be broken. These parents were able to break that code once
they accepted that there was a different language.
Just the other day, Sophie participated in drama class. She pretended
to be a baby-sitter looking after a crying infant. She fed the doll,
cuddled her, and wrapped her in a blanket. She made the teacher and
her classmates smile as they could recognize that this was something
new and special. When she was done, they all clapped their hands enthusiastically
in appreciation. Sophie beamed with delight and wanted
to stay on the makeshift “stage.” Her new teacher had to lead her off to
let someone else have a turn but wrote about this story with great en-