978-1572305441

154 A MIND APART
child with ASD, parents learn that isolation in their rooms or extended
time-outs, strategies that usually work well with typical children, do not
work with children with ASD. Time-outs are good for parent relief, no
doubt, and that is a worthwhile goal to be sure, but parents should not
think by doing this they are teaching the child with ASD to “behave.”
Some children with ASD learn to use aggression as a way of avoiding
difficult situations, and to suspend them—or to send them to timeout
in their room—only teaches them that they can escape these
difficulties. If a child finds some academic activity difficult, whether it’s
listening to someone read from a book, sitting in a circle surrounded by
other kids, or doing math problems, it may be easier to bop the teaching
assistant than to do the assignment.
Suspending Ernest provided only temporary relief for his teacher
and caused other problems for Ernest. Alternative solutions would have
been more effective in dealing with the aggression as well as benefiting
his overall social skills. Ernest enjoyed going to school each morning,
and it had become a regular part of his routine. The other children liked
playing with him and were protective toward him. They had no trouble
handling Ernest; they left him alone if he was cranky and helped him if
he was responsive to their ministrations. They could recognize his subtle
communications more easily than his teachers, who were often too
busy following the lesson plan to pay attention to his nonverbal messages
of distress and frustration. Ernest’s parents were also sensitive to
these clues, and as a result, there was much less disruptive behavior at
home.
When Ernest was finally allowed to return to school in the fall,
however, he had a difficult time. His routine had been disrupted by the
suspension, his opportunity to practice his social and communication
skills had been reduced dramatically, and he was now treated in a
guarded fashion by his teachers. Going to school was much less fun
than before, and he was clearly unhappy, as it was more and more difficult
for his mother to get him off to school in the morning; he would
dawdle getting dressed, then resist going out the door and onto the
school bus.
As behavior management strategies, suspension and “taking control”
are poor options and represent desperate remedies that should be
avoided if at all possible. In Ernest’s case, the aggressive behavior could
have been easily prevented in the first place. It was simply a matter of
taking a different perspective. The key to dealing with aggression is not
to focus on the aggression and violence, however difficult that might be,