NEAFC 70th Annual Conference.pdf - New England Association of ...

that sunk in, I was happy for the first time in my life. I don’t jog
’cause I don’t want to die healthy. Lady, this year will be the
best year we had. You would make me happy if you give me a lift
to the Bob Wynn Hill turn." [Laughter]
People ask me where to go and "You a John Bircher?" Once in
a while I say yes. But I do agree with the John Birch Society.
that we should get sex out of the classroom and back of the barn
where it always was. [Laughter]
Hey, you can have a big problem. They were teaching in sex
education, they call it Human Relations. That fools everybody.
You can have a big problem and a small school.
Aldrich, my political adviser, he’s my Kissinger. I said, "You
better get down there to some meeting. You better get down
there." And it was some meeting. A lady got up and said, "I
don’t want any teaching my kid about sex. I teach my own kids
about sex. I had six children and I guess I know about sex."
"Lady, I got an uncle. He had six car accidents, we still don’t
think he can drive." [Laughter and applause]
But Vermont is changing. Vermont is changing. We got plywood
cows in the stalls. Sure. Seen ’em. Seen ’em.
Age is a very serious problem and you know they talk about
condoms and you will have that up in Vermont. we have to get a
customer for that because we ran an ad up there. The Health
Department says, "Don’t forget your rubbers." Right on television.
It’s the older folks, you know, ’cause we remember when
you left them in the hall. [Laughter]
There’s another, thing, you know. People call it condoms.
There we do a lot of home canning. Oh, yeah. Some young
fellow says rubbers will protect you. He picks up a handful of
Mom’s jars, picks up a handful and thinks he’s going to be safe.
[Laughter]
I got to thinking too, you know. I know it’s a problem. Think
about when I used to come in from milking by hand way back
then and turned on the radio and hear Jack Benny eats a little
popcorn. Let’s just think of the thing they would have back then
and out ofthe past comes the thundering hoofbeats ofthe great
Silver with condoms. "Ho, Kemo Sabe, just say no." [Laughter]
We gave our legislature the pay raise. We gave them in
Washington a pay raise. Giving those guys a pay raise makes
as much sense as throwing cold water on a neutered cow.
There was these sperm banks. Sure. Nobel Prize winners. It
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