Olga Rudge & Ezra Pound: "What Thou Lovest Well..."

49 Lost Loves
the record straight,’’ there was no direct answer to this puzzling question,
but there is strong evidence against it. A friend who knew her well stated
that Olga and Renata were lifelong collaborators in music; Olga was
happiest with musicians and creative people, and a physical bond between
the two women was unlikely considering Olga’s Catholic background and
propensity for guilt. A remark in a notebook (written some sixty years
later) remains open to broad interpretation: ‘‘three men—my father, Egerton,
and Ezra—who knew about everything, liked Renata.’’ It is unlikely
that her father and Egerton Grey, the primo amore—who were not informed
about Mary’s birth—‘‘knew about everything’’ in Olga’s early life.
The faithful Egerton, having temporarily abandoned hope that Olga
would reconsider his proposal, accepted a position as head of the Government
Medical School in Cairo. He was still hopelessly in love at Christmas
1921: ‘‘I [am] still su√ering from the fever of these last ten years. . . . I
respect and reverence you, as much as I passionately love you.’’ It was
impossible to think of a gift he could a√ord that could not be better
purchased in London, he added, but ‘‘there is one gift I want dearly to
make you . . . a violin. I am saving up and if you will let me know as soon as
you find one . . . I will arrange it.’’
As a family friend, he o√ered advice about Teddy’s liaison with his
future wife, Jane, whom Olga strongly opposed, considering the girl’s
background inferior to that of her promising brother. ‘‘I thoroughly appreciate
your feelings. I have seen the girl,’’ Egerton wrote. ‘‘You would,
however, be acting unwisely to oppose Teddy . . . opposition is the surest
way to hasten a union. . . . Do not call Teddy a fool, you will be worse
when you are in love. If Teddy is not to be lifted from Circe’s charms, then
leave them to it. . . . You ladies make such a fuss about such things, until
men begin to think themselves criminals. We make our own tragedies.’’
In later years, Olga recognized the wisdom of Egerton’s words. As
Egerton had promised, their love endured beyond the grave. At her request,
Olga was buried in the red kimono he had brought back from
Japan. ‘‘I hope that my mother and Egerton and Ezra have long understood
my weakness and duplicity—but wrong or right, that led to Ezra,
and was the right way for me.’’