Frommer's Las Vegas 2004

274
CHAPTER 10 . LAS VEGAS AFTER DARK
Jaguar’s These guys were totally going to be the largest strip club in town—
25,000 square feet—and then someone built something twice as big. So they had
to settle for being perhaps the prettiest. They are also sort of the Bellagio of strip
clubs, by which we mean, two-story over-the-top marble Italian palace style
(think the glory days of Caesars Palace), with high-tech gizmos (such as fingerprint
identification for certain VIP rooms) for the well-heeled (and willing to
spend it on semi-naked girls). There are three stages with four bars (interesting
ratio), and each stage holds four performers, and really is more a series of poles,
so this is the place to go if pole work is your particular thing (though weirdly, the
stages can be so dark you can’t actually see the girls work). Forty percent of the
clientele is women, the rest mid-30s guys with money. Lap dances are $20. Open
24 hours. 3355 S. Procyon.& 702/732-1116. Unescorted women allowed. Topless. Cover $10.
Olympic Gardens Topless Cabaret Once the largest of the strip clubs, this
almost feels like a family operation, thanks to the middle-aged women handling
the door. They also have a boutique selling lingerie and naughty outfits.
(Because they get a lot of couples coming in, perhaps this is in case someone gets
inspired and wants to try out what they learned here at home.) There are two
rooms: one with large padded tables for the women to dance on, the other featuring
a more classic strip runway. The girls all seemed really cute—perhaps the
best-looking of the major clubs. The crowd is a mix of 20s to 30s blue-collar
guys and techno geeks. As the place fills up and the chairs are crammed in next
to each other, it’s hard to see how enjoyable, or intimate, a lap dance can be
when the guy next to you is getting one as well. That didn’t seem to stop all the
guys there, who seemed appropriately blissed out. Lap dances are $20, more in
the VIP room. Open 24 hours. 1531 Las Vegas Blvd. S. & 702/385-8987. Unescorted
women allowed. Topless. Cover $20.
The Palomino This used to be a classy, proper strip bar, the way perhaps some
of you, who haven’t experienced them lately, imagine such establishments to be.
Now, however, it edges into the seedy end of things. It’s also a bit out of the way.
On the other hand, it does offer total nudity in a classic red-walled setting. And
its location outside of the Vegas city limits means that it’s one of the only clubs
that offers both total nudity and alcohol. It’s two levels, with the downstairs consisting
of a large stage where featured dancers (“all have appeared in Playboy or
Penthouse or some kind of publication”) do themed dances with specific music,
costumes, and props (one healthy blonde surfer gal used a big, white bed and
satin nightie in her set), which can result in some incongruous sights, like an
essentially interpretive dance with pauses for gynecological shots. Upstairs has
two or three small stages with dancers doing their thing up close and personal.
There is also a large room off to the side where they take you for lap dances,
ensuring a small measure of privacy. Topless lap dances are $20, totally nude
dances are $40. Open 24 hours. 1848 Las Vegas Blvd. N. & 702/642-2984. Totally nude.
Cover $24.
Sapphires Ladies and Gentlemen, particularly the latter, Las Vegas, home of
the largest everything else, now brings you—drum roll—the largest strip club in
the world! That’s right, 71,000 square feet of nakedidity. Of course, you have to see
it—and of course, that’s what they are counting on. But let’s say this: While really,
it’s nothing you haven’t seen before strip-club wise, if you haven’t seen a strip club,
this is the place to start (though the size and looks are atypical, to say the least; it’s
all downhill from here), because it’s modern and clean and, frankly, it’s not all that
different, looks-wise, from Rain, the super hot nightclub over at the Rio, except