Speculum - University of Melbourne

98 SPECULUM
TOUGHE!
A young medical student about town approached
a news stall counter, behind which
stood a cute young thing, and said: "Do you
keep stationery?"
Replied the cute young thing: "Yes, up to
a certain point—then I go all to pieces."
* * *
Some men believe,
That Eve
Didn't need such a big leaf
As a fig leaf.
* * *
There is some co-operation between wild
creatures; the stork and the wolf usually
work in the same neighborhood.
*
Familiarity may breed contempt, but as
the old maid said, a certain amount of
familiarity is necessary to breed anything.
A. Wall: "In one man I had two fingers
in his ring."
Mr. Webb: "That would have been an exceptional
experience for both of you, I
should imagine."
Nads: "Did she blush when her shoulder
strap broke?"
Trey.: "I didn't notice."
* * *
One psychoanalyst to another: "You feel
fine; how do I feel?"
You hesitate if you should take a wife,
Do as your father did, stay single.
* * *
An old maid is a YES girl who never had
chance to talk.
* * * Birth control—something you wish for on
a ship when you are seasick.
* * *
Mary had a little drink,
It looked as pure as water,
But Oh, the things that Mary did,
She shouldn't really oughter!
Then there was the golfer who used to
keep golf tees in his glovebox to rest
his balls on whilst driving.
* * * * * *
I smoked my first cigarette and kissed my
first woman on the same day. I have never
had time for tobacco since.
—Toscanini.
* * *
National News:
. . . In the Legislative Assembly today,
the leader of the State Opposition, Mr. S.,
moved a motion. The Premier, Mr. B.,
said he was amazed at Mr. S's. action!
There was a young man named McLeod,
Was caressing his girl in a crowd,
When a man up in front
Said, "Take your hand off the fence,"
Just like that—right out loud.
Heard about the girl who preferred men
to liquor?
* * *
Jack Legge in biochem lecture:
"People with diabetes are unable to
handle their fats in the manner to
which they are accustomed."
*
Tony Sahhar, Div. II, claims:
"The striate arteries are the most common
site of cerebral haemorrhoids!"
Undoubtedly he also thinks the perineal
body is his third eye.
• Frustrated husband — his wife had
gonorrhoea, diarrhoea and pyorrhoea.