Speculum - University of Melbourne

90 SPECULUM
From Dr. Alan F. Guttmacher's book
"Having a Baby" —
"Injections are begun when labour is well
established and are continued until after
delivery. Caudal anaesthesia sounds like
the answer to a maiden's prayer ... "
* * *
She was only a fisherman's daughter,
that's why she kept saying fillet.
* * *
PATIENT : "That's not P.R. Doctor."
DOCTOR : "No madam This isn't a
thermometer."
She was only a woodcutter's daughter,
that's why she gave all the boys circular
saws.
• *
When taking a young nurse out one
should always enquire:
B4iVu 18 ?
ru
* * *
PANSY : "When a police siren is heard
down in Alexandra avenue in the early hours
of the morning, biological material parts
company"
* * *
PANSY AGAIN : " . . . and that's why
Australian girls like American sailors —
can get blood but not tissue".
* * *
Person who thought that intercourse was
a ticket to the races.
Two eggs boiling in a saucepan:
1st: In three minutes I'll be done.
2nd: Don't be silly—it takes me four
minutes to get hard.
"Have you heard what happened to
Harry? Wasn't he engaged to a contortionist?"
"Yes, poor chap; she broke it off."
• * *
Did you hear about the cannibal who
passed his friend in the desert?
* * *
Conversation piece in Labour Ward:
"At your Cervix, ma'am."
"I am dilated to meet you."
* * *
He was only an endocrinologist's assistant,
but he could make a hormone.
* * *
CONFUCIUS :
A cow give milk, a cow give whey,
Woman give way, give milk, too.
Woman give no way—she cow.
* * *
The perverted swan.—He spend his time
looking on the river for cygnet rings.
* * *
Two little rabbits hopping down lane—
one of them stopped and the other hopped
on.
* * *
Modern Dancing:
without casualties.
Naval engagement
A
JEYES' PRODUCT
CYLLIN *
GERMICIDE 1) High Rideal Walker Co-Efficient.
2) Perfectly Compatible with Soap.
3) Stable in the presence of organic matter.
4) A variant, "WHITE CYLLIN," is miscible with sea
water and hard water.
5) Invaluable as hospital disinfectants.
Manufactured by FEDERAL CHEMICALS PTY. LTD., ABBOTSFORD, VIC.
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