Speculum - University of Melbourne

SPECULUM
97
Is it true that storks bring babies, or is
it just poppycock?
* * *
The weatherman's wife says he's not
hitting it as often as he used to!
* * *
Petting Polly says it's fun to fight about a
kiss—but it's much more fun to take it
lying down.
* * *
The newlywed wanted to fly UNITED,
but the hostess objected.
* * *
There once was a man from France,
Who waited ten years for the chance,
HE MUFFED IT.
Sign in Nudist Colony: Gentlemen playing
leapfrog—please complete your leaps.
* *
Prof. R.: Then you get someone that's
not sterile—like a nurse
* *
*
Mr. Newlywed: "How are we going to
kiss goodbye over the telephone?"
Mrs. Newlywed: "You kiss your end and
I'll kiss mine."
* * *
Dr. P-t-r: "Old fellows that work a lot
get hyperkeratotic lesions."
* * *
Highball: An undescended testis.
* * *
In a discussion on Sex: I'll tell you when
I've got a bit more nymphomation.
* * *
46 . • .and you find that if you go through
a bunch of women . . . in an ante-natal
clinic . . ."—Lance.
*
D. Mac.: "Periods can be very erratic.
They may be anything from 20 to 40 days
—or more."
Bill Morcom: "I know—I haven't had
one for 22 years!"
*
Falsies: The bust that money can buy.
Prof. W.: "I'm not feeling like contraception
right now."
* * *
Prof. T.: "After the end of each menstrual
cycle, we begin again with a clean
sheet."
* * *
"What is a lingula copula?"
"The root of the tongue, I suppose."
• * *
A girl can be very sweet when she wants.
* * *
Girls with hiccoughs,
Seldom are piccoughs.
* * *
He took his girl out into the night air
and mist.
* * *
Have you heard of the lawyer who sat up
all night trying to break the widow's will?
* * *
"Swell party tonight."
"Yeah, I'd ask you for the next dance,
but all the cars are taken."
*
She got her fur coat on time, and boy,
what a time.
*
Then there was the sculptor who put his
model to bed and chiselled on his wife.
* * *
"I bet that man was embarrased when
you caught him looking over the trousseau."
"Gosh, yes. I thought he'd never get
over it."
* * *
Hotel Manager: "Did you find any of our
towels in that man's suitcase?"
Hotel Detective: "No, but I found a
chambermaid in his grip!"
* * *
SUGGESTIVE:
A clever hotel manager had the bridal
suite done in wallpaper with an interlocking
design.