Speculum - University of Melbourne

SPECULUM
93
After a man finds out that a woman is
no angel, he tries to find out to what extent
she isn't.
* *
Lost and Found:
Lost: One letter from a French Pen-
Friend.
* * *
"What color are violets?"
"She doesn't wear any."
* * *
Many a tight nut has been loosened by
a small wench.
* * *
Overcome by gas while in her bath, she
owed her life to the watchfulness of the
Janitor.
* * *
She knows what Reggie did,
But not where Reggie went,
She isn't even sure
In fact, what Regiment.
* * *
Some girls like a man with a future,
other girls prefer a man with a past, but
there never was a girl who could resist a
man with a present.
* * *
Heard about the Nudist?
She was reprimanded because she was
getting a bit over the fence.
* * *
Heard about the Monk who was excommunicated
because he had a dirty habit?
* * *
THE MAN HIMSELF (P. R. Guy) at
Medleys: "I have my eye on a strapless
gown that can't possibly last another
Samba."
* * *
And then there was the bloke who played
the Fallopian Tube in the Gubernacular
Band.
* * *
Dr. Hicks: One must look at vital statistics
from a face value of what MAY be
present and not what is present.
—It's all in the mind.
Ad. in Daily: If it's long and slim, it's the
fashion, Sir. * *
Prof. H.: Spontaneous pneumothorax
may come about by sexual intercourse or
cranking a car.
* * *
Mr. H.: A differential diagnosis of
chronic appendicitis is coitus interruptus.
* * *
Shampoo—pile of sawdust behind a rocking
horse.
* * *
Good mornings begin with curette.
* * *
Dr. Wh-t-, on Adenovirus group tissue
cultures:
"In 1952, a girl called Helen Lane had
a cervix biopsy. These cells were found to
be carcinomatous, and no doubt today
Helen would have been rather embarrased
to learn that her cervix is represented in
practically every diagnostic laboratory
throughout the world."
* * *
Prof. R-bb- : "There is no means of birth
control among the rat population."
CURATTE?
* * *
Clinician: "What is the cause of vaginal
obstruction?"
J.S.: "Fat embolism, Sir."
* * *
Telephone rang in the mortuary at
R.M.H.; S.S. answered.
Voice: "I want a vagina and uterus, but
no ovaries."
S.S.: "WHO DOESN'T!"
* * *
Dr. Nestel: "Mr. McKenzie, how would
you feel for a thrill?"
Mac.: Oh, you need a nurse for that, Sir."
* * *
Dr. G-b-l: "I get a distinct thrill in the
pulmonary area of this lass."
* * *
"SUN":
"1, 2, 3 . . . then Prince got it!!!"