Speculum - University of Melbourne

76 SPECULUM
At last you reach
The final year,
You sober up,
Won't have a beer,
But constipation
And dissipation
Makes you a doctor.
Finale:
There's No Medleys
Like Med. Medleys
Tune: "There's No Business Like Show
Business"
There's no business like med. business,
Like no shambles we know,
Everything about it is revealing
All the clues that Siddy can instil,
Nowhere can you get that happy feeling
When you are stealing that extra thrill.
There's no people like med. people
Like no boozes we've done,
All the boys are ready when you say you'll
shout,
You'll soon find out, they like their stout,
But when it comes to paying up they all
hang out,
But let's have piles of fun.
A BRITISH RESEARCH
ACHIEVEMENT
Working in conjunction with the
Medical Research Council, chemists
of the Glaxo Laboratories developed
a synthesis of cortisone from hecogenin,
which is obtained from the
juice of sisal leaves.
All Glaxo Cortelan (cortisone),
Efcortelan (hydrocortisone,) Delta-
Cortelan (prednisone), and Delta-
Efcortelan (prednisolone) preparations
are manufactured from materials produced
by this new British synthesis.
The pan-rooms, the theatres, the patients,
the smell,
The cigarettes you always seem to lend,
The ward rounds, the students, the orderlies
—ah, well.
Who's caring, for the year is at an end.
The nurses who will give the studes a bit,
Ah, bless their souls—tonight they'll make
a hit.
There're no subjects like Med. subjects,
Like no subjects we know,
None of them are worth the trouble learning,
Think of Physiol. and Biochem.
All the notes are only fit for burning,
What of the lecturers? We've finished them.
There's no fooling or no drooling that our
Profs. ever shun,
Never was there such a mouldy lot,
They're always ready to drink a pot,
And what's more they'll take you down for
all you've got.
We're having Piles of Fun.
The doctors, the sisters, the nurses, the lot,
Will keep you on the run from morn till
night.
The lectures, the clinics, the P.M.s, so what,
Tonight's the night we'll give the fright a
bite.
We're fit and well and rearing for the
chance,
The booze is waiting, let's get down and
dance.
There's no medleys like Med. Medleys,
Like no medleys we know.
Never has there been a show so daring,
Never has there been a grander cast.
You orta guess by all the bloomin' swearing
That we have finished the show at last.
We hope you have had fun, too, and still
vote us number one,
Thanks to all who helped us to this final
night
It's sad that some should have died of
fright,
As for all the rest of us, well boy we're
tight,
We've had Piles of Fun.