Sex, Gender, Becoming - PULP

Agency amidst adversity: poverty and women’s reproductive lives 111
also to avoid dealing with their demands and the pressure of
responsibility.
TM’s boyfriend, Samson, lived in Makaunyane nearby. She said, ‘maybe
we will get married if his job pays him well. Then we will move out on
our own’. She also talked about her thoughts on having children. ‘I
wanted to get another child now, so that by the time I am thirty years I
will be sterilised, but I do not have money. My boyfriend was not earning
much. Now he is gone to his brother at Bushbuckridge [in the Northern
Province] to get a driver’s licence. Maybe then he can work as a driver.
There are many chances for a job then. He was working last year but he
is retrenched now. In April [1999] he must reapply; he could get a
temporary post’.
TM explained why she wanted only two children. ‘Life is not like those
old days. Two is enough. Samson and I talked about this before. He is
happy with two children. He has no parents. He lives with his sisters.
The sisters used to talk to me. They said that Beverly [TM’s daughter] is
getting too big [she was 8 years old] and I should have another child. I
said, ‘money talks’. It is too much money to bring up another child. I am
lucky that this child of mine was never sickly. Since she was born she has
never been to a doctor. Her only sickness was coughing. I took her to the
clinic for some cough mixture. I need to save all my money to prepare
for the next child. If I find a job I will have another child ... I still take
the pill but I need to be careful about how I take it. Samson wants me to
have another child now. I said I do not want another one now. He feels
that he will get work soon ... Last year we agreed to have another child
this year [1999] but I did not know that I was going to lose my job then’.
Although TM is in a comparatively strong relationship she did not trust
Samson’s promises of finding a job soon, nor could she rely on
members of her family for financial support. The crucial issue
delaying her willingness to have another child was her concern, in
view of her unemployment, about whether she could afford to support
another child. At the same time, it is also important to emphasise that
women’s thoughts and ‘decisions’ about children were often
changeable. There were numerous times in the course of fieldwork
when I re-asked women about whether or not they would prefer to
have more children than they already did. Often women reassessed
their original answers, particularly when economic circumstances had
changed favourably or when they had entered into more secure
relationships. As an illustration:
When I first interviewed FN 59 in 1998 she worked long hours as a travel
consultant for Dixie’s Travel Agency 60 in Pretoria. Her tasks were varied
but she dealt mainly with aliens who wanted to remain for longer
periods in the country. The priority areas were re-entries, work permits,
passports and IDs. For this she earned only R750 per month. Her
transport costs per month were about R200. Her actual income in hand
was therefore lower. Her employers first paid her R1000 a month, then
59
Interview, FN, 10 June 1998, Winterveld.
60 A pseudonym.