Sex, Gender, Becoming - PULP

Domestic violence in south africa 149
talk to, and that hearing from his family was an important component
of the resolution to this problem. She indicated that his family was
completely supportive of her, and that they did not want them to
break up. The involvement of families in the process is potentially
important also for the victims. A feature of domestic violence is that
women are isolated from their families and friends. One victim, who
is a policewoman, and who has an income, asked rather poignantly:
‘Where do I go to?’ if she should leave her spouse who was beating her
regularly. Women are often ashamed or embarrassed about the
violence in their homes, and then become isolated from potential
support systems. The mediation process could empower the victims
because they are supported by family and the community.
One of the sub-themes which emerged is the question of the women
being financially dependent on the partner. Thus, magistrates and
prosecutors are supportive of mediation as an alternative process
because of the consequences of imposing such measures as
imprisoning the spouse. Women and their children are dependent on
the partner’s income. Any loss of income because of imprisonment
will culminate in hardship for the family.
The VOC process certainly provides the participants with the
opportunity for self-reflection. All the respondents referred to this
aspect. To illustrate this point, one respondent stated: ‘It helped me
to look at myself. I do not deserve to be treated like this. I believe
that a human being can change, and can be given a second chance, if
they want to change themselves’. Nevertheless, many of the women
lack self-esteem. This phenomenon is a common feature of being
abused. 28 Respondents who are assertive about their rights do not get
abused. Patriarchy still features in many aspects of South African
communities, particularly in rural communities. Women in rural areas
are generally more vulnerable to sexual victimisation and also less
likely to seek assistance. The author notes that under-reporting is
based on the fact that victims are reluctant to come forward because:
• they are more likely to know their attackers; and
• they fear that they will be blamed or not believed by the police. 29
One of the respondent’s partners who came from a rural community
in Kwazulu-Natal referred to this issue of unequal power relations. He
said that it was the norm in that rural community to beat your wife if
she argued, or did not listen to you.
Two of the respondents were very unhappy with the process of VOC.
One respondent’s experience is that the VOC process was not helpful
because she felt that the social workers should have paid a home visit,
28 Angless & Shefer (n 3 above) 308.
29
D Singh ‘Women and men as vulnerable victims’ in L Davis & R Snyman (eds)
(2005) Victimology in South Africa 189 190.