Derrington 2012 thesis.pdf - Anglia Ruskin Research Online

The ‘X-factor’ provided a lot of inspiration and made a big impact on her
sessions. Although she liked the television show and it was familiar to her, she
was not accustomed to singing and only sang along to recorded music
together and if she agreed with the lyrics. It was surprising that she chose to
film everything but the recordings became a video diary of sessions and, even
though she did not want to be heard singing on her own, enjoyed looking back
at the film together and laughing about our performances. Watching the video
together was a way to reflect on what she was doing, encourage her and
inspire her with new ideas.
Over time, singing together gave her confidence and then there was a
breakthrough in a session: before I had found her chosen song on a CD, she
began singing it on her own. I waited and listened to her for a while before
starting the music. She was totally free in her singing and at the end was able
to acknowledge how confident she had become and could accept praise.
After this we continued to sing songs together but I began to accompany her
on the piano rather than using CDs. As she became more sure of herself, she
started to enjoy taking more responsibility for how the music should sound.
She began to choose upbeat, self-affirming and positive songs such as ‘The
Winner Takes It All’ (Abba, 1980) and ‘This is Me’ (Dodd and Watts, 2008).
With this new self-assurance, Samantha now had the confidence to write
down some of her own ideas for lyrics. Having found her musical identity in
pop music and in filming her performances, she had developed huge selfconfidence
and was able to make the music her own.
Music therapy, she said, was “a quiet place I come back to”. It proved to be a
consistent place through many difficult transitions and in the turbulent time,
as she approached the end of her school days, it created a secure base. The
confidence she gained from singing and performing in a safe place allowed
her to face the future with a more positive outlook. At the end she told me:
“music therapy’s like a rehearsal for the real thing”. I wondered whether she
was reflecting philosophically on life or had a real hope to be signed up for
the ‘X-factor’.
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