2011 - Talk Birth

Homeschooling & Feminism (2011-08-12 13:07)
Though I spent my entire childhood as a homeschooler and my own children are also homeschooled, I find
I rarely have the urge to write about it. Homeschooling for my own children felt like a ”given” to me—I
didn’t feel like doing any reading or soul-searching about making the decision, as it had been made in my
mind before ever even becoming pregnant with our first child. Indeed, the decision was made when I was
a child myself. When I had been married for about two years, I remember telling a friend that maybe I
wanted to wait a little longer than many people do to have children after getting married, because once I
had them, I knew I was in it for the ”long haul.” There was no, ”well, after they’re five, then I’ll have six
hours a day to myself.” I knew without a doubt that once I had kids it was going to be a 24/7, 365 gig.
She said, ”well, you don’t have to homeschool you know. You always have a choice.” I said, ”you know.
I really don’t have a choice.” And, while I do know that in truth one always has choices, homeschooling
was a completely foregone conclusion for me. (Breastfeeding was the same way—I didn’t ”choose” between
feeding methods, I was born to be a breastfeeding mother. There wasn’t a choice about it for me in my
mind—much like if someone had asked me whether I was going to go with ”artificial blood” or regular blood
in my own body! Hmm, thanks, I’ll take what my body makes of its own accord!) Another Molly at the
blog [1]first the egg asked a couple of weeks ago for input about homeschooling and feminism—i.e. where
are the homeschooling feminist mothers. I raised my virtual hand, but said I don’t really write about it
and she essentially said, ”get started.” I’m surprised by how many good ”nuggets” exist at my old blog, just
languishing and waiting to be mined into new blog posts here and I discovered that I had, in fact, done
a little writing about homeschooling there. So, with minor modification, here are some thoughts about
homeschooling and feminism...as primarily separate topics though, not intertwined...
[2]Natural Life magazine often has good articles about homeschooling. A couple of years ago, I enjoyed
one called ”Education is Not Something That’s Done to You” and it addresses the (false) assumption
that learning ”can and should be produced in people.” It addresses the assumption that children won’t learn
on their own, but must be made to learn by being kept in confinement with others their own age day in and
day out. She notes that even homeschoolers often fall into the trap of thinking education must be ”done
to” children. I marked the conclusion to share: ”What we should not do is create new schools—be they
charter schools, private schools, or home schools—which perpetuate old assumptions of how children learn
or who controls children’s learning.” I have to remind myself of this sometimes—if I start to feel like my own
children ”should” be doing something specific, or think ”most 5 year olds can XYZ...” or if someone asks my
boys if they’re getting ready to go back to school or remarks on how ”is your mommy or your daddy your
teacher,” that I reject that system—why would I try to use its values to define our experiences?
The other article I enjoyed in the same issue is [3] The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rocks the
Boat: Life learning as the ultimate feminist act. In it, the author quotes social commentator Susan
Maushart as asserting that ”motherhood needs to be at the center of human society, from which all social
and economic life should spin. Society needs to ’acknowledge that bearing and raising children is not some
pesky, peripheral activity we engage in, but the whole point,’...Warehousing kids in daycare or school so
mothers can get on with what they see as their real lives is not part of that vision, but we need to find ways
to ensure economic security for women of all classes, and extend the vision to include fathers as well.”
While thinking about feminism and homeschooling, I had an epiphany while facilitating a series of
women’s spirituality classes. The theme of one week’s session was ”womanpower.” A point was emphasized
several times during this class that in feminism the view of power is different. A patriarchal view of power
is that of ”power over” or control over—you have power, someone else doesn’t. You can use your power
to control others, or to take their power away, etc. A feminist view of power is of cooperation—”power
with” as well as inner power. When you have inner power, you do not need power over someone else. A
hierarchical version of power falls away and is unnecessary. I reflected on the times I have heard women say,
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