2011 - Talk Birth

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call it home And in the end may she find everything in her heart and her heart in everything Last week I attended a blessingway for a friend who moved away last year. We didn’t know each other very well when she lived here, but thanks to Facebook, we’ve kept in touch and have bonded this year due to some personal experiences and commonalities. The poem above from the book Sisters Singing felt perfect to me to share with her. She has waited with such hope and love to meet her new daughter. I also made her one of my polymer clay birth goddess sculptures. I purposely overbaked it to make the pigment more deeply colored. This goddess is holding a heart-shaped gem for love. [1] 1. http://talkbirth.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_1776.jpg Kelley Maresca (2011-11-28 21:06:15) How beautiful! Do you sell the birth goddesses you create? 373
Mindful Mama: Presence and Perfectionism in Parenting (2011-11-29 16:18) Being a mindful mama can be painful.[1] I am acutely aware of how often I fail, mess up, and let myself down in this work of conscious mothering. When I decide to go through a drive-through after a long day in town, I am very aware of each preservative laden, saturated fat heavy, factory-farmed, non-fair trade bite that crosses our lips. When I’m tired and have low energy for responsive parenting and I say “yes” my boys can watch a DVD, I know I am using it as a “babysitter” and as a “plug-in drug.” I cringe to hear myself say at times, “you guys are driving me crazy!” It is painful to know better and to watch myself do it anyway. Listening to my Inner Critic Instead of an inner guide, I too often listen to my inner critic. My judge. The perfect mama that sits on my shoulder and lets me know how often I screw it all up. I laugh sometimes as I reference the invisible panel of “good parents” that sits in my head judging me and finding me lacking. For me, being a mindful mama is bound up in complicated ways with being a perfect mama; a “good mother.” In this way, it is NOT true mindfulness—I respond to my children based on how I think I should respond, how a “good mindful mama” would respond, not necessarily based on what is actually happening. Too often, I respond as I believe Dr. Sears, Jon Kabat-Zinn, or Marie Winn (The Plug in Drug) thinks I should respond, not based on reality or how we feel in the moment. This is the antithesis of true mindfulness. Mindfulness means an awareness of what is, it does not mean a constant monitoring of how I have failed. If I cannot be flexible and compassionate with myself, how do I expect to be a flexible and compassionate mother? I am harsh and relentless in my own assessment of myself. Listening to the inner clamor of how to “be good” and “do it right,” prevents me from tuning in to what my children are really doing and really need in the moment. It is difficult to hear my own authentic voice, the still, small voice within, amidst the shouting in my head produced by all my reading and ideas. This realization also forces me to acknowledge how often my mothering is about ME and not about my children. Too often my mothering springs from a preoccupation with being a “good mother”—i.e. making this all about me, me, ME—rather than about my children in the moment. Meet Perfect Mama 374
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Talk Birth 2011 By Molly Remer
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Contents 1 2011 9 1.1 January . . .
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Updating My Birth Quotes! (2011-05-
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Affordable Fetal Model (2011-09-22
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Chapter 1 2011 1.1 January Happy Ne
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emaining prep work to do for it too
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[1] At Montana De Oro in 2009 (wave
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[6] Second side of reversible card
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[11] [12] [13] Remember the reversi
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Barbara (2011-01-05 20:31:57) It tu
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ductions about 6 years ago! She see
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or tenderness, and wonder.” -via
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peacefulbeginnings (2011-01-11 14:4
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Molly Remer, MSW, ICCE, CCCE is a c
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julie herr (2011-01-17 22:23:59) Gr
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like this is silly or weird. I do n
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and scary and has—in the past—r
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[12] While I was at the painting, I
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peacefulbeginnings (2011-01-13 09:0
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[4] After the ceremony, I set up a
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‎”Birth is one of the most prof
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fondness instead of regret. Instead
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My Baby Girl is Here! (2011-01-23 2
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[4] My ”40 weeks” picture-due d
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We did it! | Footprints on My Heart
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[5] Side view I actually made this
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Northrup ”The intrinsic intellige
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We have discussed how each of our b
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look :) My new baby is already one
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[4] Yes, I was a geeky fangirl in t
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1. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product
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[1] Waves breaking at Montana De Or
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[1] Modeling new t-shirt :) In the
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have TONS more ideas about this top
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Birth & Breastfeeding in Unexpected
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Blessed be this gathering with the
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and following my own guidelines. SU
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1. http://talkbirth.files.wordpress
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Book Review: Times Two (2011-03-18
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[1] Aren’t they cuties? I think s
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I’m getting ready to start teachi
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[1] Trying to decide whether or not
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[4] Taken during the morning of bir
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[8] More time on the ball... [9] Pr
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[14] First nursing 1. http://talkbi
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thought maybe I should never post q
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[1] Present from my husband after m
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5. https://app.etapestry.com/cart/C
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and working to lessen the pain they
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Mary Tighe (2011-04-23 02:33:44) Wo
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[4] And now, here is my full birth
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just a really great baby. She is to
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[4] Cutie pie! 1. http://talkbirth.
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Disclosure: I received a compliment
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[1] I have to laugh at our nearly i
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of my spirituality (I semi-joke tha
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[1] Nursing my brand new baby boy!
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loved one. The five identities expl
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[2] 117
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Two of them looked like they had an
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said he’d changed his mind and th
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[2] All the reasons I’m a mother!
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[4] What’s this?! I think her big
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about her. I have noticed the same
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[2] I feel a little critical of it
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[4] 1. http://talkbirth.wordpress.c
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talkbirth (2011-05-14 14:27:36) He
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current health status of a large se
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initiation, few events that challen
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Review: A Book for Midwives (2011-0
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the birth culture in the U.S. Is th
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Book Review: Arms Wide Open: A Midw
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[2] I have to say that I have the g
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[4] close up 1. http://www.unassist
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the Advancement of Midwifery has ma
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Lead with your spirit, rise above t
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didn’t feel like I was in “birt
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• The little legs that pull up in
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1. http://www.birthingbetter.com/ 2
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title inspired by[3] Literary Mama.
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• [9]Book Review: The Father’s
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Viewing the act of breastfeeding th
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1. http://www.plusultratech.com/201
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Postpartum Feelings, Part 3 (2011-0
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[3] I know this one isn’t a pro p
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Terina (2011-06-26 21:39:08) Awesom
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I truly think this is a chronic soc
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talkbirth (2011-06-29 14:00:53) So
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New Lives is a compilation of essay
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[3] Taking a break from nursing to
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What do they say? They tell me ther
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[1] My original little story and pi
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(yes, this has happened more than o
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Karen (2011-07-15 04:48:07) I’ll
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glad to leave it behind and snuggle
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Out of respect for Native tradition
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[3] (c) Sincerely Yours Photography
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[2] She knows 1. http://pathwaystof
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Disclosure: I received a compliment
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[2] Telling you all about it... 1.
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Book Review: Ben Behind His Voices
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Rainy Wedding (2011-07-25 11:26) [1
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in brilliance more stern and starli
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[4] Self-portrait taken on his birt
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and taking pictures of the placenta
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Book Review: In Search of the Perfe
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Which means that ’natural’ moth
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[5] They both make me happy when I
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links for thought, July 2011 (2 of
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invoked to describe situations with
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After that missed call, I had a dre
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snuggly tucked inside my bra, its p
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me of my own [3]How to Meditate wit
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In the late 70’s and early 80’s
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3 fatty acids has the potential to
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A Fresh Look at Discipline (2011-08
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”I’m not a feminist, but...”
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Hillary (2011-08-14 20:50:39) Hey M
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”Let me save you some money: In a
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Take Pictures (2011-08-23 18:50) I
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and threads of your fears. Wrap you
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one came first! This morning, as I
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you really DO need another minute t
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to guage) reference points they are
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mind—clear out any cobwebs and as
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• Hands and knees on bed • Knee
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alert. It is important to take deep
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are very active and dynamic in feel
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with a new baby. Women tend to be h
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Today editorial by Jan Tritten ”C
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‎”Remember our heritage is our
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much you practice relaxation, how m
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not just hear about it.” -Mayim B
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Review & Recipe: The Artisanal Kitc
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talkbirth (2011-09-13 21:20:13) It
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Sometimes I have more ”figured ou
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”You will convince yourself that
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[4] [5] Family hug [6] Crawling 277
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**Blink!** [10] Missing teeth! [11]
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2. I love bargains. For quite a whi
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[6] If the demo pelvis had a coccyx
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during grading times—another of w
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[7] Pensive pondering [8] My baby c
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[13] Matching hats! [14] On Lann’
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[2] Zander picking stuff [3] Alaina
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she enjoyed our company so much tha
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get into graduate school and that r
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talkbirth (2011-09-30 07:56:49) I
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• Make lunch and eat. (Boys draw
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• Making small animals out of mol
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[20] Harry Potter Quidditch Match
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[26] My awesome is a little tarnish
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ut we all earn some of them, somewh
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”Pachamama is a goddess revered b
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Pinkola Estes Every woman who has g
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3. http://talkbirth.wordpress.com/2
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[7] Big girl going for a ride! Seve
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up into little capsules first, but
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Page 372 and 373: ”Hormones have a kind of crazy rh
Page 376 and 377: I’m sure many of you know Perfect
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Page 390 and 391: [1] I mentioned the toilet paper ea
Page 392 and 393: [3] That is another skill this mont
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Page 402 and 403: Imaginary Future Children (2011-12-
Page 404 and 405: While some people lament the ”foo
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2011 - Talk Birth

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