2011 - Talk Birth

• Mark gets home from work at close to 6:00.
• I lament briefly about all the tasks I thought I would complete that I didn’t get finished.
• Berate self for complaining and for whining at Mark when he has just gotten home, rather than be
delightful company.
• Finish dinner and eat. While eating, we usually do ”high-low” of the day—each take turn saying our
”low point” and ”high point” from the day.
• Clean up dinner and go outside for our evening walk. Boys ride bikes and are extremely loud and Mark
and I try to talk over them.
• Boys shower, brush teeth and I read to them from our current book and then snuggle them until they
go to sleep (Mark gets Alaina in her PJs, pottied, and teeth brushed, and sometimes a bath).
• Lament a little more about what I still haven’t gotten done.
• Watch Netflix with Mark in bed while nursing Alaina to sleep.
• Feel dismayed at pile of laundry still needing to be put away.
• Imagine hopping up and whirling through the house in a blaze of productivity, but decide going to
sleep makes more sense.
• Review things I expected myself to get done—such as working on books, completing massive projects,
writing dozens of blog posts, doing dozens of school assignments, etc. Feel vague sense of failure about
the day—never having ”caught up” or gotten ”finished.” Feel guilty about times I snapped or said, ”just
a MINUTE!” or didn’t stop what I was doing to look.
• Wonder why I forget to include, ”sustaining life of small, wonderful person” on my list of ”accomplishments”
for the day.
• Berate self for not being nicer to self. Berate self for berating self for not being nicer to self.
• Vow that tomorrow will be a ”better day.” Vow to be more patient, more responsive, more mindful,
more spiritual, more attentive, more cheerful, more delightful, more zen-like, more inner-peace-full,
more better. Berate self for always making same vow. Briefly berate self for self-beratement.
• Feel bad for not spending more rose-smelling time or time snuggling with my husband or visiting with
my mom. Remind self to be generous with self. Retain secret sense of certainty that it is possible to
get everything done tomorrow.
• Read my current book (or books) until I’m almost falling asleep (around midnight).
• Nurse baby much of night.
• Wake up [13]full of awesome and ready to do it again!
Things I envision our daily life including, but that rarely manifest:
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• Drumming and musical instrument fun
• Handwork
• Family games