The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

TWO STORIES 387She tried to do as much as possible for herself, so as not to makework for the nurses, until the moment when her body would nolonger support her. On one occasion, when she was still able to getout of bed, a nurse asked her very discreetly if she would like to siton the commode. Dorothy struggled up, then laughed and said, "Justlook at this body!" as she showed us her body, reduced almost to askeleton. Yet because her body was falling apart, her spirit seemed toradiate and soar. It was as though she were acknowledging that herbody had done its job: It was no longer really "her" but somethingshe had inhabited and was now ready to let go of.For all the light and joy that surrounded Dorothy, it was clearthat dying was by no means easy; in fact it was very hard work.There were bleak and harrowing moments, but she went throughthem with tremendous grace and fortitude. After one particularlypainful night when she had fallen over, she became afraid that shemight die at any moment, all alone, and so she asked for one of usto stay with her all the time. It was then that we began the 24-hourrotation.Dorothy practiced every day, and the purification practice ofVajrasattva was her favorite practice. Rinpoche recommended teachingson death for her to read, which included an essential practice ofphowa. Sometimes we would sit together reading passages out loudto her; sometimes we would chant Padmasambhava's mantra; sometimeswe would simply rest in silence for a while. So we developed agentle, relaxed rhythm of practice and rest. There were times whenshe would doze, and wake up to say: "Oh, isn't this lovely!" Whenshe appeared more energetic and alive, and if she felt like it, wewould read passages from the bardo teachings, so that she couldidentify the stages she would go through. We were all astonished athow bright and alert she was, but she wanted to keep her practicevery simple—just the essence. When we arrived to change "shifts" wewould always be struck by the peaceful atmosphere in the room,Dorothy lying there, her eyes wide open, gazing into space, evenwhile she was sleeping, and her attendant sitting or quietly recitingmantras.Rinpoche would often telephone to find out how she was gettingon, and they talked freely about how near she was to death. Dorothywould speak in a down-to-earth way, and say things like, "Just a fewmore days to go, Rinpoche." One day the nurses wheeled in the telephonetrolley saying, "Telephone call from Amsterdam." Dorothybrightened up immediately, and glowed with pleasure as she took thecall from Rinpoche. After she hung up she beamed at us and said hehad told her that she should no longer concentrate on reading texts,and that now was the time simply to "rest in the nature of mind; restin the luminosity." When she was very close to death, and Rinpochecalled her for the last time, she told us he had said, "Don't forget us;look us up some time!"