The-Spanish-Love-Deception-www.indianpdf

all that crazy banging, my heart had somehow moved up my throat and to my
temples, so it was hard to focus on anything besides its beating and Aaron’s
voice.
“And you know what I did?” he continued, bitterness filling his tone.
“Instead of laughing like I wanted to, instead of looking up at her and saying
something funny that would hopefully make her give me one of those bright
smiles I had somehow already seen her give so freely in the short day I had
been around her, I pushed it all down and set the mug on my desk. Then, I
thanked her and asked her if there was anything else she needed.”
I knew I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but I was. Just as much as I had been
back then, if not more. It had been such a silly thing to do, and I had felt so
tiny and dumb after he brushed it away so easily.
Closing my eyes, I heard him continue, “I pretty much kicked her out of
my office after she went out of her way and got me a gift.” Aaron’s voice got
low and harsh. “A fucking welcome gift.”
I opened my eyes just in time to watch him turn his head in my direction.
Our gazes met.
“Just like the big jerk I had advertised myself to be, I ran her out. And to
this day, I regret it every time it crosses my mind. Every time I look at her.”
He didn’t even blink as he talked, looking straight into my eyes. And I didn’t
think I did either. I didn’t think I was even breathing. “All the time I wasted
so foolishly. All the time I could have had with her.”
If I hadn’t been leaning on the tall table of the sidrería, I would have
fallen to the floor. My legs weren’t able to support my weight any longer. My
body had somehow numbed. Aaron looked at me—no, he looked into me.
And in return, he let me do the same. I couldn’t know how, but I swore, in
that moment, he was laying bare a little piece of himself in front of me. He
was trying to tell me something I didn’t think I had the ability to process. Or
was he? Was he begging me to remember that this was all a farce? Or was he
begging me to remember that even if it was, his words still held part of the
truth?
But that couldn’t make any sense, could it?
No. Nothing did. Not me wondering and not whatever I thought I had
heard in his words or seen in his eyes.
Certainly not the way my heart had broken free and turned into a
wrecking ball, demolishing everything it found on its way and leaving
nothing more than a trail of shambles behind.