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German Catalog 2006 USE THIS ONE.qxp - Michael Skurnik Wines

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40<br />

subject: why riesling?<br />

A) Because if you grow it where it’s at home, Riesling comes out<br />

of the ground already perfect. Don’t need no face-lift, depilating,<br />

tummy-tucks or pancake-makeup. Not like some other<br />

grape variety we could name that rhymes with “hard-on-YAY”<br />

B) Because Riesling exists to make food taste better. Compare<br />

with adolescent narccisistic grape varieties that only want to<br />

draw attention to their adorable SELF.<br />

C) Because Riesling knows soil more intimately than any other grape, and because Riesling is<br />

more articulate than any other grape in conveying soil right into your palpitating palate. Go on,<br />

SOIL YOUR PALATE with Riesling.<br />

D) Because Riesling attracts the kinds of vintners who do NOT need to prove to you what throbbing<br />

hot-shots they are by how neatly they can diddle technology. With Riesling, nature RULES.<br />

In the cellar, less is more.<br />

E) Because Riesling is genuine, organically linked to the ground, whole in itself, resistant to<br />

fancy-pants machines, because it survives frost, because it ripens late in the Fall when everything<br />

is taut and crisp and golden, because Riesling wines are the afterglow of the contented world.<br />

F) Because YOU will be a deeper, happier person when you drink these wines. There’s no ego<br />

and no affect between them and you. They simply display their uncanny complexities in a manner<br />

so infectious you can’t HELP responding with your OWN complexity; suddenly your mindheart-soul<br />

expands and the world seems like a far more intricate and fascinating place than it<br />

was just moments before.<br />

G) Because, take it from me, a lifetime of Riesling drinking will make you a nicer person, a better-informed<br />

citizen, a finer lead guitarist, a better hitter with an 0-2 count, a MUCH better lover;<br />

you’ll balance your checkbook, avoid Jury duty, change the oil on your car every 3000 miles,<br />

never dawdle in the left lane, root for the home team and make bread from scratch. The real<br />

question isn’t “WHY Riesling”? It’s WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR????

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