Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

Domestic Violence and Money
10
Representing a Victim of Domestic Violence
Who Needs Child Support
by Judy Reichler
Domestic violence is strongly linked to family economic issues, and money
is often used to gain power and control. An abuser may withhold money or take
money, to possess, humiliate, intimidate, intrude upon, and isolate his partner.
So that you can provide the best assistance to your client, explore with her how
she and her partner handled their money.
While the couple is living together, an abuser may exercise complete control
over the money in the household. He may insist on doing all the shopping or
accompanying her to every store, including the laundromat. He may hold all the
money, distributing it only on an “as needed” basis. He may provide his partner
with an allowance, from which she is expected to make all, or certain, household
expenditures. He may not have had a problem with her doing the shopping, but
insist on reviewing all receipts. He does this not just to keep track of the money,
but to make certain she went where she said she was going and that she has not
made any “unauthorized” purchases or bought something that will reveal another
lover or plans to leave him.
Some abusers bring in no income themselves, yet, through the use of threats
and intimidation, are able to gain complete control of the money that enters the
house. Sometimes the only income in the family comes from public benefits
received by his partner, yet the abuser is able to come and go, insisting that
these benefits be used to meet his shelter, food, and entertainment needs.
Even after the parties have separated, money may continue to be used to
keep control. An abuser who seemed generous while the parties were together
may suddenly become stingy with money. He may be unwilling to provide any
support for a child who does not live with him. He may question the need for