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Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

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Domestic Violence and Money<br />

10<br />

Representing a Victim of Domestic Violence<br />

Who Needs Child Support<br />

by Judy Reichler<br />

Domestic violence is strongly linked to family economic issues, and money<br />

is often used to gain power and control. An abuser may withhold money or take<br />

money, to possess, humiliate, intimidate, intrude upon, and isolate his partner.<br />

So that you can provide the best assistance to your client, explore with her how<br />

she and her partner handled their money.<br />

While the couple is living together, an abuser may exercise complete control<br />

over the money in the household. He may insist on doing all the shopping or<br />

accompanying her to every store, including the laundromat. He may hold all the<br />

money, distributing it only on an “as needed” basis. He may provide his partner<br />

with an allowance, from which she is expected to make all, or certain, household<br />

expenditures. He may not have had a problem with her doing the shopping, but<br />

insist on reviewing all receipts. He does this not just to keep track of the money,<br />

but to make certain she went where she said she was going and that she has not<br />

made any “unauthorized” purchases or bought something that will reveal another<br />

lover or plans to leave him.<br />

Some abusers bring in no income themselves, yet, through the use of threats<br />

and intimidation, are able to gain complete control of the money that enters the<br />

house. Sometimes the only income in the family comes from public benefits<br />

received by his partner, yet the abuser is able to come and go, insisting that<br />

these benefits be used to meet his shelter, food, and entertainment needs.<br />

Even after the parties have separated, money may continue to be used to<br />

keep control. An abuser who seemed generous while the parties were together<br />

may suddenly become stingy with money. He may be unwilling to provide any<br />

support for a child who does not live with him. He may question the need for

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