Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

390 Stephanie Nilva and Kristine Herman
dramatic misunderstandings if you have not clarified your client’s expectations
in advance. Additionally, it is not uncommon for young people to test an adult’s
loyalty or the boundaries of the relationship. Such testing might take many
forms including hostility or trying to distance themselves to protect against
feeling disappointed or abandoned. Remain alert to what your client’s
motivations might be in pushing you away, and focus on reassuring her that she
can rely on you.
In your interview, explore the client’s abusive relationship but also the
relationships of her family and friends. She may be close to her abuser’s relatives
or have friends or relatives who date his friends or relatives, and this can cause
her to feel pressured by additional people who have a stake in her relationship
and any decisions she might make. Be particularly delicate about discussing the
client’s sexual activity or any potential sexual assault, as this may raise additional
defenses. A client willing to disclose physical abuse to you or to her family still
may avoid sharing information about her sexual activity or assaults. You should,
however, make clear that you are open to hearing about sexual abuse.
Communicating With Your Young Client
Be sure to explain to your client all of her legal options and every step of
the legal process. Be clear, consistent and honest about the system’s limitations,
and never make any promises that you can’t keep. In both face-to-face meetings
and telephone contacts, extra care should be taken not to talk down to her or
treat her as though she were a child. She may be young, but it is important that
she be taken seriously and not treated in a condescending manner that
minimizes her experiences, thoughts, or concerns.
You will want to be extra aware of giving your young client all the respect
and attention you automatically would give to someone older. Avoid taking calls
or shifting your attention while your client is speaking. Be sure to acknowledge
her feelings and circumstances. Validating her experiences and concerns about
peer pressure or her social challenges with friends and relatives will help gain
your client’s trust. Your client may have reasons for her behavior that seem
ridiculous at first — she may tell you she stays with her abuser because he’s
cute — and your ability to take her seriously will help her trust you.
When communicating with your client, an authoritarian approach is likely
to backfire, and avoiding any semblance of judgment or overassertive behavior
will be helpful. Every attempt should be made to offer the client extensive
information and guidance while supporting her choices. Your client will need
concrete suggestions of how to increase her safety while in the relationship, but