Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

Distrust of Authority
Advocating for Youth in Domestic Violence Proceedings 387
Adolescents may fear that seeking adult assistance will result in a loss of
autonomy, so adolescent victims may be protective of their independence and
cautious about forming a relationship with you. Hand in hand with these
developmental concerns regarding independence and autonomy is the
adolescent’s task of boundary-testing and limit-testing. Adolescents are at a
developmental stage in which they test and challenge everything. They badly
want to experience life and learn through trial and error. They may be reluctant
to solicit advice and counsel, and when they do, they may not trust you. Though
no victim benefits from being told how to live her life, almost no other
population is as resistant as adolescents to being told what actions they should
take or decisions they should make.
Young people often keep domestic violence a secret. If they speak to
anyone, they are most likely to speak to their friends and peers. Over 97% of
teenagers do not report violent incidents to any authority figures. 8 In one study
of teenage victims, 61% of adolescents confided in a friend, and 30% did not
tell anyone. 9 Some young people want to avoid getting the abuser in trouble;
others simply feel they won’t be believed.
Ambivalence
Though adult victims separate from their abusers repeatedly before leaving
for good, 10 young people in dating relationships may demonstrate what appears
to be an even greater level of ambivalence. Because your client’s relationship
may not have defining characteristics such as a shared household or some other
legal tie, you may see young people drifting in and out of relationships. They
may appear to have more confused concepts of being together or apart than
adults might. Yet what appears to you as indecision may be reluctance to
disclose abuse, fear, or inability to define unacceptable behavior.
Like adults, young survivors may feel embarrassed, ashamed or confused;
they may fear increased violence if they disclose the abuse, or they may believe
they can stop the abuse or “handle it.” In addition, they may fail to recognize
that they are being abused, especially if this is their first intimate relationship.
Some young people may perceive abusive behavior as “normal,” particularly if
they have witnessed abuse by adults in their household. Their concerns about
losing autonomy or independence may cause them to fear reprisal from a parent
or guardian, who might prevent them from seeing the abuser or curb their
freedom in future relationships. If involved with someone her own age, a victim