Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

140 Judy Reichler
things that he had happily provided when the family lived together, thus requiring
constant requests for money, with each request giving rise to further arguments.
If his partner was supplying him with money while they were together, he may
continue to drop by and insist that she give him some of her money.
Many of the same problems exist even if the couple never lived together.
An abuser may believe he should be able to spend all of his money on himself,
except for certain expenses he deems necessary, such as diapers, baby formula,
and an occasional toy.
An abuser may react badly to the initiation of a divorce action or a court
proceeding for child support. He could become violent in court, or outside the
court. He may refuse to comply with an order and cause your client to remain
entangled with him while she seeks compliance. Or, if he pays, he may insist
on handing over the support money personally and use the occasion for
continued abuse.
Because of these concerns, dealing with an abuser and child support is a bit like
stepping into a mine field. It can be done, but no one should rush into it blindly.
Is it in Your Client’s Best Interest to Establish Paternity
and/or Seek Child Support?
Explore Possible Repercussions
If you have a client who has been a victim of domestic violence, take
special care to assure that an effort to obtain child support will not place her in
additional danger. It is never a good idea to simply jump at the chance to help
your client seek child support without an exploration of the potential for success
and possible repercussions.
Victims of domestic violence — sometimes the ones in greatest need — are
often afraid to seek support from the father of their children. This fear is not to be
taken lightly. It is, unfortunately, quite justified in many cases. In addition to
physical danger, there are other unwanted repercussions that should be explored.
For example, the mother of a non-marital child must prove paternity before she
can seek child support. 1 If she does this, it will give the father certain rights, such
as the right to seek custody and/or visitation. He can, of course, obtain a paternity
determination on his own, but might not do so if left alone. You and your client
should consider the possibility that the father will seek custody as a weapon or use