“Catch-22” By Joseph - Khamkoo

“Catch-22” By Joseph Heller 190
There was nowhere else to turn but to his wife, and he scribbled an impassioned letter
begging her to bring his plight to the attention of the War Department and urging her to
communicate at once with his group commander, Colonel Cathcart, for assurances
that—no matter what else she might have heard—it was indeed he, her husband, Doc
Daneeka, who was pleading with her, and not a corpse or some impostor. Mrs. Daneeka
was stunned by the depth of emotion in the almost illegible appeal. She was torn with
compunction and tempted to comply, but the very next letter she opened that day was
from that same Colonel Cathcart, her husband’s group commander, and began: Dear
Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal
grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded or
reported missing in action.
Mrs. Daneeka moved with her children to Lansing, Michigan, and left no forwarding
address.
Yo-Yo’s Roomies
Yossarian was warm when the cold weather came and whale-shaped clouds blew low
through a dingy, slate-gray sky, almost without end, like the droning, dark, iron flocks of
B-17 and B-24 bombers from the long-range air bases in Italy the day of the invasion of
southern France two months earlier. Everyone in the squadron knew that Kid
Sampson’s skinny legs had washed up on the wet sand to lie there and rot like a purple
twisted wishbone. No one would go to retrieve them, not Gus or Wes or even the men in
the mortuary at the hospital; everyone made believe that Kid Sampson’s legs were not
there, that they had bobbed away south forever on the tide like all of Clevinger and Orr.
Now that bad weather had come, almost no one ever sneaked away alone any more to
peek through bushes like a pervert at the moldering stumps.
There were no more beautiful days. There were no more easy missions. There was
stinging rain and dull, chilling fog, and the men flew at week-long intervals, whenever
the weather cleared. At night the wind moaned. The gnarled and stunted tree trunks
creaked and groaned and forced Yossarian’s thoughts each morning, even before he
was fully awake, back on Kid Sampson’s skinny legs bloating and decaying, as
systematically as a ticking clock, in the icy rain and wet sand all through the blind, cold,
gusty October nights. After Kid Sampson’s legs, he would think of pitiful, whimpering
Snowden freezing to death in the rear section of the plane, holding his eternal,
immutable secret concealed inside his quilted, armor-plate flak suit until Yossarian had
finished sterilizing and bandaging the wrong wound on his leg, and then spilling it out
suddenly all over the floor. At night when he was trying to sleep, Yossarian would call
the roll of all the men, women and children he had ever known who were now dead. He
tried to remember all the soldiers, and he resurrected images of all the elderly people he
had known when a child—all the aunts, uncles, neighbors, parents and grandparents,
his own and everyone else’s, and all the pathetic, deluded shopkeepers who opened
their small, dusty stores at dawn and worked in them foolishly until midnight. They were
all dead, too. The number of dead people just seemed to increase. And the Germans
were still fighting. Death was irreversible, he suspected, and he began to think he was
going to lose.
Yossarian was warm when the cold weather came because of Orr’s marvelous stove,
and he might have existed in his warm tent quite comfortably if not for the memory of
Orr, and if not for the gang of animated roommates that came swarming inside
rapaciously one day from the two full combat crews Colonel Cathcart had
requisitioned—and obtained in less than forty-eight hours—as replacements for Kid
Sampson and McWatt. Yossarian emitted a long, loud, croaking gasp of protest when
he trudged in tiredly after a mission and found them already there.
There were four of them, and they were having a whale of a good time as they helped
each other set up their cots. They were horsing around. The moment he saw them,
Yossarian knew they were impossible. They were frisky, eager and exuberant, and they