“Catch-22” By Joseph - Khamkoo

“Catch-22” By Joseph Heller 219
like a baby. Yossarian lifted Huple’s cat off Hungry Joe’s face and shook him awake.
Hungry Joe dressed rapidly. This time they flew the plane north and turned in over Italy
far behind the enemy lines. When they were over level land, they strapped a parachute
on Nately’s whore and shoved her out the escape hatch. Yossarian was positive that he
was at last rid of her and was relieved. As he approached his tent back in Pianosa, a
figure reared up in the darkness right beside the path, and he fainted. He came to sitting
on the ground and waited for the knife to strike him, almost welcoming the mortal blow
for the peace it would bring. A friendly hand helped him up instead. It belonged to a pilot
in Dunbar’s squadron.
‘How are you doing?’ asked the pilot, whispering.
‘Pretty good,’ Yossarian answered.
‘I saw you fall down just now. I thought something happened to you.’
‘I think I fainted.’
‘There’s a rumor in my squadron that you told them you weren’t going to fly any more
combat missions.’
‘That’s the truth.’
‘Then they came around from Group and told us that the rumor wasn’t true, that you
were just kidding around.’
‘That was a lie.’
‘Do you think they’ll let you get away with it?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What will they do to you?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Do you think they’ll court-martial you for desertion in the face of the enemy?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I hope you get away with it,’ said the pilot in Dunbar’s squadron, stealing out of sight
into the shadows. ‘Let me know how you’re doing.’ Yossarian stared after him a few
seconds and continued toward his tent.
‘Pssst!’ said a voice a few paces onward. It was Appleby, hiding in back of a tree.
‘How are you doing?’
‘Pretty good,’ said Yossarian.
‘I heard them say they were going to threaten to court-martial you for deserting in the
face of the enemy. But that they wouldn’t try to go through with it because they’re not
even sure they’ve got a case against you on that. And because it might make them look
bad with the new commanders. Besides, you’re still a pretty big hero for going around
twice over the bridge at Ferrara. I guess you’re just about the biggest hero we’ve got
now in the group. I just thought you’d like to know that they’ll only be bluffing.’
‘Thanks, Appleby.’
‘That’s the only reason I started talking to you, to warn you.’
‘I appreciate it.’ Appleby scuffed the toes of his shoes into the ground sheepishly. ‘I’m
sorry we had that fist fight in the officers’ club, Yossarian.’
‘That’s all right.’
‘But I didn’t start it. I guess that was Orr’s fault for hitting me in the face with his pingpong
paddle. What’d he want to do that for?’
‘You were beating him.’
‘Wasn’t I supposed to beat him? Isn’t that the point? Now that he’s dead, I guess it
doesn’t matter any more whether I’m a better ping-pong player or not, does it?’
‘I guess not.’
‘And I’m sorry about making such a fuss about those Atabrine tablets on the way over.
If you want to catch malaria, I guess it’s your business, isn’t it?’
‘That’s all right, Appleby.’
‘But I was only trying to do my duty. I was obeying orders. I was always taught that I
had to obey orders.’
‘That’s all right.’
‘You know, I said to Colonel Korn and Colonel Cathcart that I didn’t think they ought to