“Catch-22” By Joseph - Khamkoo

“Catch-22” By Joseph Heller 201
the long lead weights suspended from pulleys over him and by the frayed black hole in
the bandages over his mouth. He had, in fact, hardly changed at all. There was the
same zinc pipe rising from the hard stone mass over his groin and leading to the clear
glass jar on the floor. There was the same clear glass jar on a pole dripping fluid into
him through the crook of his elbow. Yossarian would recognize him anywhere. He
wondered who he was.
‘There’s no one inside!’ Dunbar yelled out at him unexpectedly.
Yossarian felt his heart skip a beat and his legs grow weak. ‘What are you talking
about?’ he shouted with dread, stunned by the haggard, sparking anguish in Dunbar’s
eyes and by his crazed look of wild shock and horror. ‘Are you nuts or something? What
the hell do you mean, there’s no one inside?’
‘They’ve stolen him away!’ Dunbar shouted back. ‘He’s hollow inside, like a chocolate
soldier. They just took him away and left those bandages there.’
‘Why should they do that?’
‘Why do they do anything?’
‘They’ve stolen him away!’ screamed someone else, and people all over the ward
began screaming, ‘They’ve stolen him away. They’ve stolen him away!’
‘Go back to your beds,’ Nurse Duckett pleaded with Dunbar and Yossarian, pushing
feebly against Yossarian’s chest. ‘Please go back to your beds.’
‘You’re crazy!’ Yossarian shouted angrily at Dunbar. ‘What the hell makes you say
that?’
‘Did anyone see him?’ Dunbar demanded with sneering fervor.
‘You saw him, didn’t you?’ Yossarian said to Nurse Duckett. ‘Tell Dunbar there’s
someone inside.’
‘Lieutenant Schmulker is inside,’ Nurse Duckett said. ‘He’s burned all over.’
‘Did she see him?’
‘You saw him, didn’t you?’
‘The doctor who bandaged him saw him.’
‘Go get him, will you? Which doctor was it?’ Nurse Duckett reacted to the question
with a startled gasp. ‘The doctor isn’t even here!’ she exclaimed. ‘The patient was
brought to us that way from a field hospital.’
‘You see?’ cried Nurse Cramer. ‘There’s no one inside!’
‘There’s no one inside!’ yelled Hungry Joe, and began stamping on the floor.
Dunbar broke through and leaped up furiously on the soldier in white’s bed to see for
himself, pressing his gleaming eye down hungrily against the tattered black hole in the
shell of white bandages. He was still bent over staring with one eye into the lightless,
unstirring void of the soldier in white’s mouth when the doctors and the M.P.s came
running to help Yossarian pull him away. The doctors wore guns at the waist. The
guards carried carbines and rifles with which they shoved and jolted the crowd of
muttering patients back. A stretcher on wheels was there, and the solder in white was
lifted out of bed skillfully and rolled out of sight in a matter of seconds. The doctors and
M.P.s moved through the ward assuring everyone that everything was all right.
Nurse Duckett plucked Yossarian’s arm and whispered to him furtively to meet her in
the broom closet outside in the corridor. Yossarian rejoiced when he heard her. He
thought Nurse Duckett finally wanted to get laid and pulled her skirt up the second they
were alone in the broom closet, but she pushed him away. She had urgent news about
Dunbar.
‘They’re going to disappear him,’ she said.
Yossarian squinted at her uncomprehendingly. ‘They’re what?’ he asked in surprise,
and laughed uneasily. ‘What does that mean?’
‘I don’t know. I heard them talking behind a door.’
‘Who?’
‘I don’t know. I couldn’t see them. I just heard them say they were going to disappear
Dunbar.’
‘Why are they going to disappear him?’