Introduction to Mindfulness - Dean Amory

Week 5
We began today with an invitation to the remaining group members
to express how they felt about some people dropping out, or how it
felt when other group members had failed to show up and then reappeared.
By and large they appeared un-fussed by people who left or
didn’t show. Part of that was because of their considerable experience
of being on group programs where this happened regularly: “I’m used
to it by now, it happens in every group”. And partly, their reaction
reflected a strong philosophy of looking out for number one and not
counting too much on anyone else: “I’m here for myself”, “It’s about
my recovery ultimately, not anyone else”, “I try not to depend on
people, it’s what I’ve learnt”. One member did find that when others
dropped out, it undermined her confidence in this program: “I do
start to wonder what am I doing here if all these other people are
dropping out?”
The group took time to sit a while and get centred before reviewing
homework. There was further evidence of people finding it hard to
cope with the degree of tension and /or distress they encountered in
themselves when they tried to practice.
- “I find it very hard to do meditating, my mind doesn’t want me to
do it, but I just tell myself ‘discipline, discipline, discipline’. I can
do about ten minutes but I feel all the tension in my body… I just
want to kick out, to clench my hands… I just want to run”
- “I’m the same, I find it very hard to meditate, hard to stay still…
I’d be trying to force myself to feel relaxed”
But many self-reports shared among the group spoke of having had
some very positive experiences when practicing.
- “I ate my cereal really slow, I noticed all the textures and the
tastes. I noticed I was absent – I say ‘absent without leave’ a lot of
the time. A lot of the time when I was driving… my brain was
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